Friday, September 28, 2012

{ Grasp }

Five Minute Friday I was petrified of committing to Five Minute Friday: Set a timer for five minutes and just write. Use the prompt on Lisa-Jo's blog and just go. But it has been good for me, so good for me, to write about things from a perspective other than "this is what we've been up to lately." So here I am again: Five Minute Friday!

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I've gotten lazy, and I'd like to blame it on motherhood and caring for an infant 24/7, but maybe I should be a little more honest and acknowledge it goes back farther than that {can I blame it on pregnancy? work? getting married?}. I've gotten lazy about my time with You, Jesus, and it screws up my days and my mind and my life.

I don't fully comprehend the ramifications of choosing to cook dinner or fold laundry or fritter away time on Facebook instead of seeking Your face. But I know some of the cumulative effects...the dryness, the bone-deep, parched, desperate-for-water feeling that pierces my soul. I grasp at springs of water that turn into mirages. You know them. You know how easily I am fooled by their shimmering promises of hope and rest and peace apart from You.

I spend so much time reaching for the wrong things, trying to find what only You can provide anywhere but with You.

So now I come to you, feeling weak and ashamed and embarrassed to acknowledge the futility of what I spend so much time doing. Take my hand--reach for me--pull me up out of the hole I've dug with Your strong grasp.

6 comments:

  1. I think this is something we all so easily fall into. I'm so grateful to know He never never lets us out of His grasp. Something, as you know, He's brought home to me this week. Thanks for your beautiful comment at my place. :) ~ Pam, Apples of Gold

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  2. really like this too. I am there with ya too.

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  3. Beautiful descriptions Nikki! I can totally relate too - there are so many things that vie for our attention, it is sooo hard to be disciplined and not keep reaching for the wrong things!

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  4. This post is so deep and perfect, and way, way too real! ;) I know I struggle with the same, and I long for deep, abandoned joy for Jesus which I know comes from a lot more sitting at His feet than what I am currently doing! I wanted to write on "grasp" last friday but it was a very busy day and honestly I was just having a hard time sorting through my thoughts and knew there was no way I could write something in only five minutes that actually made sense! ;) Your post, however, is just about perfect and exactly what I was wishing I could have gotten to paper! Thank you for sharing and always being so real! It's inspiring and encouraging!

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