...I'm going to anyway.
Last night I fell out of bed.
I hope that y'all are gasping in shock and empathy, thinking, "Ohmygoodness I hope she's okay!! I hope she doesn't have one of those really high beds with a ladder, like the Princess and the Pea!! I hope she didn't fall a great distance and break something!! I hope she's not writing this post from a hospital bed!"
But you're probably just giggling at the thought of a grown-up girl falling out of bed. It's okay, I'll get over it. I think I'm fine. (Note: Thank you, Chelle, for being so sincerely concerned when I told you about this tonight over cupcakes. Thank you for squeezing my arm and asking me if I'm bruised. It makes me feel better.)
You, however, may still be wondering: How does one manage to fall out of bed?
I'm not quite sure.
All I know is that we were in bed, about to turn the lights off, when I remembered that I hadn't plugged my cell phone into the charger. I half sat up and reached over to the nightstand for my phone, but the charger cord was on the floor, so I leaned over a little more. What happened next is very unclear. I had a sudden, overwhelming sensation of my feet being very much tangled in the sheets, and then suddenly--BOINK!--I was on my hands and knees on the floor, holding both phone and charger.
I'm not sure who was more startled, me or Mister. It was such an abrupt and unexpected turn of events, me mysteriously disappearing over the edge of the bed, that I honestly didn't know wht to think for a few seconds. I'm certain that Mike was alarmed and concerned for my well-being, but he didn't even really get the "Babe! Are you okay?" out of his mouth before he was lost in a fit of giggles, hanging halfway off the bed. I couldn't even get off the floor, I was laughing so hard. (And to think of our unsuspecting underneath neighbors, who were probably roused from peaceful slumbers by me thunking on the floor, followed by uncontrollable laughter!)
And why, you might ask, did I decide to publicize this? Because I kept thinking of it today at work and having to screw my face into the most horrible contortions to keep from laughing out loud. Because when I thought of it while I was brushing my teeth after lunch, I nearly snorted a mouthful of toothpaste foam into my nasal passages. Because I thought that it might bring a smile to your face, gentle reader. And so, till next time, good night and sweet dreams.
P.S. I hope you're smiling.