Look at you, all pretty in pink, fat little sausage toes and dimpled fingers and a gummy grin that splits my heart right open.Look at you, less than four months old and over a thousand photos of you already sit in folders on my desktop, testimony to how you've won our hearts and become accustomed to the flash in your blue, blue eyes.
Look through those folders, and you'll see snuggles with Daddy; meeting grandparents, aunts and uncles; dozens of cute outfits; silly faces that make me laugh. But where am I?
In all that happy cacophony of baby pictures, I can think of two with me in them. And it makes me wonder: Someday, when you look back on your childhood, will you wonder where your mama was? I mean, you'll remember that I was there with you every day, but will you see it?
In my willingness to stay on the other side of the camera, will you know what I looked like during these exhausting months of new mommyhood? When you are a mama yourself, will you imagine you are the only one with crazy unkempt hair, stubborn pregnancy pounds, and a makeup-free face? Am I painting an unrealistic picture of motherhood for you, my daughter, by staying outside the frame?
It's so easy to do. But maybe today I'll wait for our little photoshoot 'til after Daddy gets home, and have him take a few snapshots of his girls. Together.
I love your post, babies are so precious and grow up too fast. I have tons of baby pictures of my eight year old. The fun thing about doing photos of her now is she poses and makes silly faces and we can really enjoy it together.
ReplyDeleteYES! Do it!! It was about five years ago that I allowed myself to come out from behind the camera consistently without constantly worrying about how I look and whether or not my appearance will disappoint my children and my future grandchildren.
ReplyDeleteNot at all. They will treasure actually seeing ME as your little girl will treasure seeing YOU!!!
Grateful to have found you today via Five Minute Friday!!
OH, this is lovely, and it grabbed me hard. I have been trying to be more intentional about getting in photos with my daughter too, and this is a lovely reminder of how important it is. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI really like this post.
ReplyDeleteOh Nikki, this is heart-touching. I think it's a fabulous idea for Mike to get behind the lens and capture you two in the moments of your day-to-day. You are a beautiful, authentic mama, inside and out!
ReplyDeleteYes!! We have 3 kiddos now, and so many photos have JUST the kids together. Some of my favorite pics from my childhood are the ones of me with my parents....my mom with her hippie hair and my dad with his footballer wavy hair. I'm sure my kids will want the same thing! Well, minus the hippie hair. :)
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