{ Race }

It's Five Minute Friday again, folks!

~*~*~

When did this life become a contest? A kind of race against myself? Do more. Faster. Be better at XYZ. Accomplish everything on this list today, and I win! Win what? Tired-and-crabby-Nikki? Great prize!

I treat so much of my life like I'm competing desperately in a competition, and almost always coming up short. The to-do lists never end. There's always another meal to cook, another load of laundry waiting, another errand to run, another book I ought to read. Am I living looking so far ahead at what remains to be done that I'm missing today?

Yes.

So often my answer to that question is Yes. It breaks my heart when I stop and think about it. I don't want Lainie to grow up with a mama who is always rushing from one thing to the next, always trying to get more done and be more efficient and have more time and be a better parent--to the point where I'm not actually present in the present. I want to be here with her. I want her to know that life isn't a competition and she doesn't have to worry about winning because it's not a race. It's a gift.

So today I choose to play peek-a-boo and count piggies and spend as long as she wants talking and giggling and cooing with her. I choose to put down the running shoes and just be.