Friday, February 8, 2013

{ Bare }

It's Five Minute Friday over at Tales of a Gypsy Mama, and I'm joining in!

I don't know what it is about exhaustion that makes me feel so exposed, so vulnerable--like my heart and soul are hanging naked in the public courtyard. Like all the worst parts of me are on display. Like sin I thought was being put to death by the Spirit is very much alive.
Today I can barely keep my eyes open. Between the little tooth shoving its way through Elaina's gums, and my decision {brilliant? insane?} to stop swaddling her since she's already not sleeping well--two birds with one stone, ya know--I haven't gotten much sleep lately. And yet, for some reason, this time around the soul-baring tiredness isn't so ugly.
This morning I rocked Lainie to sleep half a dozen times, nearly falling asleep myself. She kept pulling her pacifier out and then wailing in sorrow as she held it between her chubby fingers. And I relished it: the baby smell of her head, her little sleepy-snorey noises, the warmth of her hand rubbing my neck in her sleep. The bare-ness is good today: In it, I am knowing my Jesus and my daughter more deeply.


  1. Keep rocking your precious baby. Too soon, she'll be in kindergarten and then off to college. Remember these days and nights.

  2. I hope you find some time to sleep. It can be hard to appreciate the joys when you are tired. Just remember that time does fly and someday you will look back and be glad that you went through this for her. She is beautiful.

  3. Oh beautiful. Knowing Christ is the most important. Being weak - He will make you strong. And my daughter told me, "you know Mom, sleep isn't all that it is reported to be". Some day you will sleep through the night but you will never get back that wonderful tender rocking and snuggling you can love now.
    Blessings to you,

  4. Nikki,

    The days are long, the years are short.

    Sending love and prayers your way.

  5. Aw, snuggles to your teething girl, and hugs for you! You are an inspiration to seek what can be found, even in extreme tiredness. xo

  6. Love your heart so much friend. What amazing and beautiful mama you are! Praying for grace upon grace for you in this season. xo

  7. I know that exhausting. I know that vulnerability. I know. Love and prayers dear girl!!