Tuesday, January 5, 2010

{ Brave New Year }

I've been meaning to blog for days. It's probably been weeks by now.
Wanting to tell you about Snowflake Lane and the Garden d'Lights, two spectacular local Christmas events that I had never even heard of before. My husband is an excellent planner of surprises and dates, let me tell you!
Wanting to tell you about Christmas--our first Christmas as Mr. & Mrs. About Mike's dad's smoked salmon chowder and lovely gifts on Christmas Eve. About the pandemonium of 11 people simultaneously opening gifts on Christmas day.
I do not, however, want to tell you about crying on Christmas Eve because I was so nauseous. About missing Christmas breakfast because I felt so crummy and showing up for the festivities at my in-laws' halfway through the day, when I was somewhat human again. {Sweet Mr. Mike made sure I was well-stocked with saltines, 7-Up, and Pepto-Bismol before I made him leave for breakfast. It's his favorite meal of the year. I wouldn't let him miss it.}
And, because someone will ask, no, I am not pregnant.
I want to tell you about God's grace in getting me through 23+ hours of overtime this week when I felt lousy. About His grace in the form of medical insurance and medication that helps me not feel like I'm going to vomit 24/7. About the ways God is using really bad acid reflux {that's the diagnosis so far} to draw my attention back to Him, reminding me to cast all my cares at His feet, because I can't carry them on my own.
Maybe someday soon I'll have time to upload photos from our laughter-filled New Year's Eve celebration: yummy food, great friends, and laughing till I snorted {several times} while playing Mad Gab. Mr. Mike and I were on the winning team. 71-68. It was a close game.
But for now, I need to spend serious time with my Savior. He gives me peace. And while I'm the last person to assign purely spiritual causes for physical ailments, I really truly believe that part of this stems from not placing Jesus on the throne of my heart.
So many things clamor for my attention. I'm figuring out how to be a wife, a homemaker, a daughter-in-law, and a full-time employee all at the same time. It's hard. This takes a lot of time and energy.
I want to love and serve my husband, who is (a) starting a business, (b) taking a college class, and (c) starting the deacon process at our church...all at once.
We're still not all the way finished unpacking...and we've been married almost six months.
I want pictures on my walls. Wait, paint. I want paint on my walls, THEN I want to hang pictures.
I want to have friends over for dinner, now that we have a dining table and chairs. {No more lawn chairs and folding table for us!! It was like an early Christmas present to ourselves, after five months of camping in our dining room.}
And I want to finish season 5 of LOST before season 6 starts on February 2.
All joking aside, I think you can see that my plate is full. It's embarrassing, but I couldn't see that till last week. In spite of the fact that my body has been vehemently rebelling for the past two months. Yes, I'm stubborn and proud. By God's grace, I am learning humility. I am learning to let go of perfect; in fact, I'm learning to call it a day at way less than perfect.
I've never been one for New Year's resolutions, but the blogging world seems to be full of them: resolutions, themes for the year, etc. Maybe someday I'll be one of those bloggers.
For now, though, I'm just going to be me. In January of 2010, that does not include resolutions {which are really just large-scale to-do lists anyway, aren't they?} except one:
I will cast all my cares upon You.


  1. Oh,my dear sweet friend.....I am so sorry to hear of you feeling horrid!
    I will be praying that you are able to find a way to kick this acid reflux in the bud.
    I pray that the new year will bring you oppurtunities to do the things that you want to do on your condo,but also oppurtunities of peace for your body and mind.
    It is very hard "to let go of Perfect", it is something I have worked on the last two years and still havnt fully conquered it,but we can do this with God's help:)
    Love you dear friend,
    Please take care of yourself!!

  2. I forgot to write in my last comment that Raine gave Jake and I Mad Gab for Christmas. The other night we played it with the whole family and we were laughing so hard and giggling,it was a great time by all!
    (and Jake and I were on the same team and we won!)

  3. I was just reading that scripture,, too. In the Message it says "Live carefree before God because He is careful with us." I loved that. Love your heart, too!

  4. So glad you are feeling better! I hate that you have felt so lousy!! Casting our cares upon the Lord is something I struggle with every day, but feel so relieved when I do...heres' to a wonderful new year for you and your sweet Mr.!

  5. Sorry you were not well for your first Christmas as Mr. and Mrs. :( The balancing act can be very difficult at times and yes the answer is to sit at the feet of Jesus. I will be emailing you soon, my email is not working right now for some odd reason. Love you!

  6. Niki you truly have the sweetest heart and I love these posts where you bare all, share what the lord is teaching you and tell us what is going on in your heart.

    Lifting you up in my prayers and giggling over the thought of you camping in your dining room too :)