{ Baby Dear }

Dear Miss Peanut,

It was sometime in March when a friend told me about a dream where she felt God revealed to her the name and gender of her first child {she's getting married later this year}. Your daddy and I have talked about baby names at least since we got married. At that time, in March, we had known you are a girl for over a month, and still we couldn't decide between two or three front-runners.

I thought, "Huh. Wouldn't that be convenient--if God told Mike in a vision what Peanut's name should be. After all, He already knows her by name!"

I spent the next few days doing something I hadn't done much before: praying earnestly about your name. We had discussed names a lot, but we hadn't spent much time praying about them {at least I hadn't}. Almost immediately, the Lord impressed on my spirit that I should let your daddy pick your name. I prayed about it for a few more days, then I thought about it, then I prayed some more...all without telling him what I was doing. I was a little scared. There are a few names that we both really like and kept coming back to, but part of me was afraid that if I told him he could name you, carte blanche, you'd end up with a name like Prunella or Oona Moona. Not because I think your father has horrible taste in names--he doesn't--or because I thought he was out to ruin your life--he isn't--or because I thought he'd be ornery and choose a name I hate--I knew he wouldn't. I'm just kind of a control freak.

Finally I told your daddy that I was putting the decision of what to name you entirely in his hands. At first, he thought I was joking. I convinced him I was serious, and then...I did nothing. For what seemed like a loooooooong time but what was in reality about a month. No nagging. No suggesting. No "hurry up and name her!"

And then, on the last Sunday in April, we were sitting in the atrium at church during the second service, and I asked him if he'd decided what to name you.

He said, "I'm 90% sure."
I said, "Like, we-can-tell-people-90%, or you-aren't-sure-yet-90%?"
He said, "Like we-can-tell-people-90%."
Or something like that...I don't remember exactly, I have pregnancy brain!

Elaina Rae.

That's you!!

Elaina is a name I've liked for ages; it's one we've both been fond of and talked about for years. It means light, torch, or bright. Ray was my grandpa's name, my dad's dad, and it means wise protection. We really like how the two sound together--and oh, the nicknames! Lainie Rae, Ellie Rae...I just want to eat you up!

After so many months of calling you Peanut, it feels weird to refer to you as Elaina or Lainie. Your daddy still calls you Peanut most of the time. We'll adjust, I'm sure!

And now, with what's unfolded over the last few days, I'm really glad that we have a name for you. Last week, we found out that there is a mass in your chest and the doctors aren't sure what it is. Absolutely everything else about you--every single thing--looks perfectly normal, right down to your swallowing and your frequent practice breathing. We are praying for you, Lainie Rae, and so are lots of other people: That this is nothing serious, just a harmless little anomaly that doesn't impact you negatively at all, or that Jesus takes it away entirely before you're born. Tomorrow we get to take another peek at you and hopefully figure out what exactly this mass is.

So you just keep growing away in there, take lots of naps, and maybe tomorrow morning you can turn belly-side-up so we can see your chest a little better.

We love you, Elaina Rae Peanut!

 

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
  Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

~ Psalm 139:13-16

{ A Pound and A Foot! }

Miss Peanut,

You've been one busy girl lately! First, there's the growing: I intended to write this blog post last week, when you were about a foot long and weighed a pound and the title of this blog post was actually accurate. But I got distracted, and now you weigh about a pound and a half, and are about 13 inches long...but I'm sticking with that title! Your movements are becoming more pronounced, though today was the first time I could see your kick from the outside--just a delicate little blip on the side of my tummy. That placenta is smack-dab front-and-center, so I can only feel you along the sides and bottom of your little aquarium. I can't quite bring myself to call your movements "kicking"...they feel more like little thumps. You are most active in the evenings and after I eat. Your daddy is bound and determined that one of these days you are going to kick when he talks to you. He talks to you a lot, and prays for you every night. He gave me a talking-to a few days ago because he doesn't think I talk to you enough. I'll admit, it is a little awkward at first, carrying on a conversation with my belly!

you're about the size of an eggplant these days

One thing that's easy for me to do is to come up with nicknames for you. Little Miss, Buttercup, Little Girl...the list goes on!

This week your daddy has made a lot of progress getting his desk built in the living room. That's the first step in clearing out the room that will eventually be your nursery. He's built and painted shelves, made himself some whiteboard walls {who knew they make dry-erase paint!}, and soon we'll be able to start tackling the mayhem of the nursery-to-be itself. I've purchased a Katie Daisy print that's sort of the springboard for the colors, narrowed down paint choices, and bought a couple of random things from Target's summer line of housewares because I love the colors...and an aqua beverage tub will make a lovely {and affordable} toy catchall!



via

via

{in real life it's not true blue at all--there's a lovely greenish hue, making it really aqua/teal}

You're also doing a fair bit of traveling in the next few weeks. Tomorrow we're driving to eastern Washington to visit two of my dear childhood chums, Anna and Chelle, and their families. Anna, Chelle and I grew up together, but this will be the first time all three of us have been together as couples since Anna and Tim's wedding, two and a half years ago! Anna's wedding, and my wedding two months earlier, are actually the only times that us three couples have all been together. It's going to be so much fun--three kids, two babies, and lots of laughter! 

Then, next weekend, we're driving to central Oregon for my brother Emery's wedding. I can already hear the noises your Grandma Gwen is going to make when she sees your bump--the last time we saw them was at Christmas, before your presence was visible to the outside world! She's going to be very excited about you, Babycakes.

And just so everyone can see...here's the "outside view" at 25 weeks:

I love you Baby,

Mommy



{ Dear Miss Peanut }

{ Outside view }

{ Inside view }

Dear Miss Peanut,

On Tuesday night we had your ultrasound, and found out that you are a Miss! We couldn't have been happier, though I'll admit I was a little surprised. I didn't have strong feelings one way or the other, whether you'd be a boy or a girl, but since I was surprised, I guess part of me was expecting a boy.

You were cooperative for most of the exam, showing the technologist beautiful views of your head, face, brain, heart, kidneys, etc. When it got to your spine, which was a little hard to see because of how you were lying, you refused to budge, in spite of me rolling first on my right, then on my left, then on my right again, and the tech jiggling my tummy with the ultrasound probe. You had none of it and stayed put.

 I'll admit, I was really relieved to see everything functioning normally and in its proper place! Having been a cardiac ultrasound technologist for five years, and having studied OB/GYN ultrasound in college, I know a little too much about the kinds of things that can go wrong developmentally and be discovered with ultrasound. For a week or so before your exam, I kept having bad dreams and thoughts about what we'd find on the ultrasound--sad things, that something would be wrong, that you wouldn't be okay. I didn't even really care whether or not we could tell your gender, I just wanted to know that you are okay. I knew they were irrational fears, and it was such a relief to see that you are just perfect. I especially liked seeing your little heart: four tiny little chambers, an aorta with that teeny tiny aortic valve, and the pulmonary arteries branching just like they're supposed to!

{ Your arm and hand }

{ One of your feet--you wiggled your toes for us! }

I think you have the daintiest little profile. The tech let us watch your face for awhile, and you were busy swallowing {so crazy that we could see your tiny little tongue moving in your mouth!!} and trying unsuccessfully to get your thumb in your mouth.

Your daddy was pretty blown away by how much detail we could see. He jumped out of the chair and came to stand by me almost as soon as the ultrasound started, amazed at how clearly we could see all your different body parts. He kept squeezing my foot, since that was all of me he could reach, and saying, "Wow!" He loves you an awful lot! :-)

Afterward, we went to dinner at a nice little restaurant called Terracotta Red, and talked about what we're going to name you. We haven't decided on anything yet, but your daddy pretends to be quite enamored of "Oona Moona," a name he made up. He says it's perfect because you can say it really fast. I suggested "Ronna Paulette" in honor of his current favorite presidential candidate--thank goodness both of us are just being funny! I think we were both a little bit in shock at the wonder of seeing you, knowing there's really a baby inside me, and that you're a girl. Not just Peanut anymore.

Miss Peanut.

We love you so very much, Miss Peanut!

Love,

Mama