Monday, February 6, 2012

{ It's a Little Crazy in Here }

Pregnancy is a funny thing. I'm not just referring to all the new twinges and pains and unexpected physical symptoms that pregnant women experience. I'm talking about how other people respond to the pregnant lady. I hadn't really thought about what I say to pregnant women regarding their changing bodies, or how they might take it, beyond the very obvious never ask a woman if she's pregnant, even if she looks like she's about to go into labor. NEVER.

It's a whole different ball of wax when you're on the receiving end of such diverse remarks as "I can't even tell you're pregnant! You look great!" and "Sixteen weeks and you're not in maternity clothes yet? I'm so surprised--that's amazing!"
All on the same day. 
I'm learning to laugh and shrug it off, whatever people say...because honestly, my brain is so addled with pregnancy hormones that it doesn't really matter what anyone says, it almost always surprises me.

"You don't have a bump yet at all!"
Does that mean I shouldn't have posted that picture, and now everyone thinks I'm narcissistic because I did?

"I can't believe how much your tummy has grown in such a short time!"
*sniff* I'm only 15 weeks...I shouldn't be showing very much I look fat?

"Can I touch your belly?"
Um....I hate to tell you, but what you're patting is 100% Nikki's intestines. My uterus is a heck of a lot lower than that, but my chronic tummy roll loves the attention.

In short, my conclusion thus far is that the only foolproof thing to say to a pregnant woman is, "You look great!" Period. That's it. Stop there and you're golden.

And truly, I swear, pregnancy brain is real. I am perfectly aware that my gut reaction {ha!} to people's comments is completely illogical, which is why it annoys me so. Also, please don't see this as a warning not to talk to me about Peanut or pregnancy or the growing tummy bulge! I'm sharing this as an amusing insight into the hCG-riddle pregnant woman's brain, not as a crazy person's passive-aggressive warning to stop talking to me! I really do like talking about this amazing thing that's happening in my body. It's just that I've never been through this before and I'm still figuring out how I feel about all of it.

Speaking of pregnancy brain {I'm amazed I can remember back to the beginning of the previous paragraph!}, it is the most confounding thing to a person who used to be able to remember everything and was once upon a time quite organized and efficient. I can't remember things from one moment to the next. I get distracted at the drop of a pin--really, my attention span is about a millimeter long. Half the time I don't remember that I've forgotten something--that's the half I prefer. The maddening part is when I know I forgot something I just thought of 30 seconds ago, and no matter how hard I try or how many ways I try to trick my brain to go back to that moment before I forgot, it doesn't work. It's just gone, folks.
Gone like a freight train, gone like yesterday...

Example: Earlier this week we had some friends over for dinner. I made The Pioneer Woman's apple dumplings for dessert {SUPER DELICIOUS!!!}. The secret ingredient is 12 ounces of Mountain Dew in the sauce. One of the reasons I decided to make this dessert is because we have an unopened liter of 7Up in the pantry from when I was nauseous all the time. Note: I said we have a liter of 7Up, not Mountain Dew. However I never realized this till after I'd made them, we ate them, and one guy was in ecstasies because he could taste the Mountain Dew! I mentioned that I decided to make these because we had Mountain Dew in the pantry, and Mike was like, "Uh, babe, we had 7Up, not Mountain like 7Up when you feel sick." Oh. Crap. How could I have missed that?
And then I realized I had put in two cups, instead of 1 1/2 cups...because in my head I thought 8 ounces is one cup, and 16 ounces is one and a half cups, so I'll put in 16 ounces!
Also, that same night, I put my favorite oven mitt on a burner I could've sworn I had turned off a few minutes earlier. Apparently I hadn't, because that burner burned a hole right through it. Of course this was five minutes before our friends arrived, so the whole place smelled like burning fabric.

Welcome to a pregnant woman's brain...I hope I haven't scared you!


  1. Yes to all of it! I can relate to the dinner story especially. Isn't pregnant life grand??? :)

  2. BAHAHAHA! I loved this! It's so true. Pregnancy makes you act spacey and having kids keeps your there! :)

  3. By the way you look great!! ( o: I totally get the baby brain thing.

  4. That’s it - I'm never getting pregnant :) J/K Nikki - I really appreciate all your honesty. It helps those of us who are just barely behind you! Thanks for forging the way :)