Mrs. Mike

{ Date Night }

2012-01-31T10:34:00.000-08:00

Right now our church is going through a sermon series called "Real Marriage," based on the book of the same name that our pastor wrote {it was just published a couple weeks ago}. All of the "community group" {what churches usually call a Bible study} are also going through the material, with individual homework assignments {tailored specifically for husbands, wives, and singles}, group discussion questions, and weekly "experiences" to put into practice what we're discussing. This week's material was about how important it is to be friends with your spouse: not just roommates, or just lovers, or just people who happen to be married, but friends. So the experience assignment was to go on a date that's just for fun: No heavy conversations, no "let's make running errands a date this week"--something fun.

Mike and I are both prone to busy-ness and can be very list- and goal-oriented; we are good at being very shoulder-to-shoulder and working together towards the same goals. It's far too easy to let those traits become prominent in our relationship, so that we're sometimes more like two people {who happen to be fond of each other} working toward the same goal, and having fun together isn't always a priority. And let's be honest...even after just 2.5 years of marriage, it's easy to get into a "rut" and just go to the same handful of restaurants, get takeout, watch a movie, or veg in front of Hulu, rather than making the effort to do something that is intentionally fun. So I was getting excited for Friday night!

Many of our dates before marriage took place in Edmonds. We have a lot of good memories there, but don't go there often anymore. So I wasn't surprised when that's where we headed. For dinner we went to The Loft, a really cool little restaurant where we went for drinks a couple times when we were dating. The inside part is tiny {and I seriously want their wallpaper in my home}, but they have a large outdoor patio in the back that's partially enclosed...meaning that it's bounded on one side by the back wall {glass} of the restaurant, on two sides by the walls of other buildings, on the fourth side by a tall wooden fence, and there's a sort of high plexiglass roof. Two of the walls have tall stands of bamboo growing against them, so it feels very outdoorsy, and yet at the same time you can look inside through the glass wall. There is also a bar with granite countertops, and lots of heat lamps, and twinkle lights strung all along the roof, and at every table there's at least one blanket in case you get chilly. I was thoroughly enchanted: Yes, let's please eat outside in January surrounded by twinkle lights and bamboo and good music and heat lamps!

We talked and laughed and flirted and took pictures of each other, just like when we were dating. Mike ordered a burger, and I had a delicious pear and gorgonzola ravioli dish. And then Mike wrote on my hand, as he is wont to do, and so I wrote on his hand, which he always tries very hard to prevent. Looks pretty good, if I do say so myself:

On the way to the car, I was sidetracked by a new frozen yogurt shop. It seems like cute little frozen yogurt shops are cropping up everywhere, and I've wanted to try one out for a while. It far exceeded my expectations!! There were probably 10 flavors to choose from, and at least 30 toppings: everything from smashed candy bars to fresh fruit {even pomegranate seeds and sliced kiwi!} to breakfast cereals to gummi bears and cookie dough. You choose your flavor{s} and toppings, and pay by weight. We decided to try pineapple, strawberry banana, and ginger lemonade, but bypassed the toppings--a good idea because it turns out that froyo ain't cheap. All the flavors were delicious, and if we lived closer I think I'd find excuses to go back regularly. Very, very regularly. Unfortunately there are no photos because we scarfed it down too fast, and because the place was swarming with high school students and we ended up eating in the car because there were no tables. {Funny side noted: as we were leaving, three teenage girls were about to go in, and one of them stopped outside the door and said, "Oh no! It's all sophomores in there!" We managed to get inside the car before we busted up laughing.}

Thank you for a wonderful, wonderful date, Honey. I love hanging out with you. I love having fun with you. I love it that we're friends.

{ Thai Chicken Pizza }

2012-01-29T12:59:00.000-08:00

This pizza!!

Ohmygoodness.

It is so good!

I love Thai food. It's probably my favorite cuisine, hands down. Mike loves pizza. It's probably one of his top three favorite foods. It's been quite a while since I've made him pizza for dinner, so I was looking for a new recipe and stumbled upon this gem from Tasty Kitchen. Unfortunately, I love it a whole lot more than the man I made it for {sorry, honey! More bacon next time, I promise.}. As in, Mike has had two pieces, there are three pieces left, and I've eaten the remainder. He likes it, but I love it. I am exercising a considerable amount of willpower in not going to the refrigerator and scarfing down another piece right this instant. I truly want to.

What makes this pizza sing is the sweet chili sauce. And the peanuts. And the fresh cilantro. And the zucchini. But mostly it's the sweet chili sauce.

I feel weird about posting a recipe when it already exists in at least two places online, so here is the link. Dax Phillips, creator of this wonderful dish, I have no idea who you are, but bless you for thinking up this pizza!

{ Today I am }

2012-01-27T16:59:00.000-08:00

Thankful for

:: a day-full of sunshine

:: a balmy January afternoon at the beach

:: old trucks

:: all the giggles I got, watching these five orange-clad BNSF men trying to get the motor started on their little tin can of a boat...seriously, guys, if the motor is that stubborn, are you sure you want to go out in the Puget Sound in that itty bitty thing?

:: tugboats

:: dog prints

:: driftwood

:: water nearly white in noonday sun

:: ferries

:: random Ron Paul van in the parking lot

I'm glad I took the time to go to the beach and just be today.

{ Things Are A-Changin' }

2012-01-25T16:23:00.000-08:00

~ 8 weeks ~

~ 15 weeks ~

wow, my hair looked a lot better in the first trimester...

It's getting a lot harder to tuck you in, Peanut!

Or should I say Fuji? Because you are now the size of an apple!

Postscript: This post is almost a week late, since I'm almost 16 weeks, but I couldn't resist the apple photo!

{ Just a small leak }

2012-01-24T20:22:00.000-08:00

At this very moment, on a blustery January night in Washington state, it is approximately 74 degrees in our home. Why, you ask? Because we're drying out a wall, I say.

Last week's snow was fantastic. I loved every minute of it--every single minute. I was so sad on Friday, when rain began pouring down on top of all that snow. I don't think there is a sadder way for snow to "die" than to be rained to death. It's just sad and ugly. Snow should melt, of its own accord, into springtime creeks and crocuses. It shouldn't be pelted into mush by a rainstorm.

On Friday night, I was scurrying about getting ready for Mike to pick me up for our Bible study group's happy hour at a local eatery. I pulled the drapes shut over the sliding glass door in the living room, and gasped. One curtain was halfway soaked, all the way to the floor. I pulled it away from the wall, and saw

a very large bubble beneath the paint.

I prodded it. Soft. Water.

I looked up.

See that big bubble on the ceiling?

And another one high up on the wall?

And all the little bubbles further down the wall?

*shudder*

And how the lower curtain rod is falling over, because the drywall it was formerly attached to is now the consistency of oatmeal?

Just look at that sucker!

We did go to happy hour {don't worry, I had iced tea}, though I was somewhat alarmed and preoccupied by my discovery {and certainly wished for something stronger than iced tea!}. When we got home, we took a bunch of photos, drained nasty water out of that bottom pocket, and Mike emailed the homeowners' association. The next day, a guy came out to assess the damage, and his little moisture meter found this wall to be 42% moisture. Holy smokes! It appears the cause is that snow got under the flashing {whatever that is}, melted very quickly, and made a leak {at least that's the gist of it}. And praise the Lord, this falls under the responsibility of the homeowners' association, not us personally!

So this week I'm kind of a vagabond. Because there might be toxic mold in the walls, and because they'll be bleaching/Kilzing/repainting the damaged areas, it's not really safe for me and Peanut to be at home. Unfortunately the repairs will take a few days--depending on how long it takes to dry out the wall--so Mike is working from home while this gets taken care of. He is a saint. And I get to live at the mall! Woohoo! It's like being ordered by the doctor to shop, right?

Just kidding. {Seriously, Honey, I'm kidding!}

I'm planning to go to my womens' group tomorrow morning, followed by a trip to TJ Maxx and maybe Target. I am perfectly happy to curl up with a book at a coffee shop, and if Peanut needs a nap, I can go to Mike's parents' house...which is also where we'll be sleeping tomorrow night if our place is still all fume-y.

So this is what home looks like tonight:

A halogen lamp drying the damaged areas + home thermostat set at 73 degrees. {For once, even I think it's nice and toasty in here!} Say a prayer for us that this is resolved quickly, will you? I'll keep you posted.

{ Balsamic Berry Quinoa Salad }

2012-01-20T11:37:00.000-08:00

A few months ago, I started dipping my toes in the strange-yet-wonderful world of couponing. I still have a lot to learn, but that's another story. My point is that, as a result of the couponing websites I've visited, I sometimes get really random emails, most of which I delete without opening. Last week, I happened to open an email from Unilever, and inside was a recipe for balsamic berry quinoa salad. I'm always on the lookout for new recipes, and this one looked quite tasty, so I made it...and ate the entire batch in two days. Goodness gracious, it was delicious! I simply have to share it.

Balsamic Berry Quinoa Salad

source

Serves 6

~ 2 cups water

~ 1 cup quinoa

~ 6 Tbsp. Wish-Bone Light Balsamic Basil Vinaigrette Dressing

~ 1 large cucumber, seeded and diced

~ 1 cup strawberries {quartered} or raspberries

~ 1 Granny Smith apple, peeled, cored, and diced

~ 1/4 cup finely chopped red onion, rinsed with cold water

Bring water to a boil over high heat in 2-quart saucepan. Stir in quinoa, then return to a boil. Reduce heat to medium and cook covered for 12 minutes or until water is absorbed. Remove from heat, fluff, then let stand covered 15 minutes. Combine hot quinoa with remaining ingredients in serving bowl. Chill, if desired.

I should confess: The salad I made had some key differences from this one. First, in my haste I burned the quinoa. Second, I used a balsamic vinaigrette dressing we already had, rather than buying a specific brand {and I only used 5 Tbsp, not 6}. I didn't seed the cucumber. At the grocery store, my box of raspberries sprang open and scattered on the floor as I was in the checkout line, so I ended up using frozen raspberries I had at home. And finally, I forgot to rinse the onion. Also, I think it's a scant 6 servings...but this is also a pregnant lady talking. I'm definitely at least doubling it the next time.

End result: Scrumptious. Darn it, I'm getting hungry again!!

Try it! I think you'll like it!

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{ Turkey Sloppy Joes }

2012-01-17T13:50:00.000-08:00

Yippee skippee--it's still snowing!!

After taking a break for the night, fluffy white flakes have been coming down steadily all morning. There are a couple inches on the ground here, with more predicted for tomorrow. The local school district is closed today, and kids are out sledding on the golf course behind our condo complex. It's just dreamy. {Especially since I have nowhere else I have to be, and we're good on groceries for the rest of the week.} This morning, in an unexpected burst of baker-ism--brought on, I think, by the enforced domesticity of the snow and no car--I spontaneously made raspberry muffins, and last night, I curled up on the couch and did some knitting while listening to The Adventures of Tom Sawyer from Books Should Be Free. I only recently discovered this treasure trove of thousands of free audiobooks--what an amazing resource! I'm not a fast reader, and if I can do something like knit or iron or clean the bathroom while someone reads to me, I'm on it! Unfortunately I think that's the only way I'm going to make significant progress on the list of books I want to consume.

This snowy, housebound weather has me thinking of warm, cozy foods: freshly baked muffins, hot tea, sloppy joes...and I have the perfect sloppy joes recipe to share with you. Recently my mom gave me a gift subscription to Taste of Home's Healthy Cooking magazine. It's the second time she's done so, and I am continuing to find it a treasure trove of great recipes. Since I've been nauseous for the better part of the last ten weeks, especially with any kind of food preparation, and especially especially with meat, I'm on the lookout for easy recipes with a lot of protein. Did you know that a pregnant woman is supposed to consume at least 90 grams of protein per day, and that poor protein intake may be linked to development of toxemia and pre-eclampsia? Yikes! So I was really happy to find this recipe for turkey sloppy joes that looked easy and delicious. And let me tell you--it definitely is! Tangy, with a bit of a bite, and slightly sweet, this is much more flavorful than I expected sloppy joes to be.

Turkey Sloppy Joes

source

Serves 8

~ 1 lb lean ground turkey

~ 1 small onion, chopped

~ 1/2 cup chopped celery

~ 1/4 cup chopped green pepper

~ 1 can {10 3/4 oz} reduced-sodium condensed tomato soup, undiluted

~ 1/2 cup ketchup

~ 2 Tbsp. prepared mustard

~ 1 Tbsp. brown sugar

~ 1/4 tsp. pepper

~ 8 hamburger buns, split

In a large skillet coated with cooking spray, cook the turkey, onion, celery and green pepper over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Stir in the soup, ketchup, mustard, brown sugar and pepper. Transfer to a 3-qt. slow cooker. Cover and cook on low for 4 hours. Serve on buns.

The only modification I made was to use an entire bell pepper {red, since it was much cheaper than green}. The extra veggie content didn't deter even Mike from wolfing down his dinner. I hope you all enjoy these sloppy joes as much as we are!

{ These Days }

2012-01-16T16:36:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, it snowed. First snow of the winter.

We were at a parenting conference that morning, Paul Tripp teaching about the family as a theological learning community and heart-motives and sin and grace and discipline, and at the conclusion we stepped into the foyer and saw through the glass doors--snow!

It's long overdue, and I'm fully enjoying it...though my perspective must be taken with a grain of salt, because I don't have to drive to work on icy roads. I'm so glad of that. I've dreamed of this winter for years, actually; of seeing snowfall and not dreading black ice and careless drivers and what if I get called in to work during a snowstorm? For someone who frets and worries, as I'm prone to do, winter weather became just one more thing to worry about after I got a job and a pager. Snow just meant getting to and from work was dangerous and time-consuming, and work itself would be crazy because we'd be short-staffed.

In short, this is a day I have longed for. It's pure luxury. Winter wonderland outside, sweatpants and cozy socks and hot chai inside. Because I don't have to leave home to work. The decadence!! Thank you Jesus--thank you Mike! It feels extravagant, superfluous, like too much...to be home and unworried on a snowy weekday. And then I remember that since I don't have to be anywhere, Mike drove my car to work {it has studded tires} and I feel even happier. This really is quite a day!

Besides snow, we've been busy this weekend. The parenting conference I mentioned was phenomenal. So many times, I was confronted with my own sin and need for Jesus' grace, my own vast incompetence to raise a child. Yet each time this was met with hope--Jesus has not left us alone in this monumental task of shaping a child's heart. He is with us every step of the way, and equips us with all that we need to parent in a godly way. So hard, yet so encouraging.

On Saturday afternoon, I accompanied a friend to the peninsula to interview a caterer for her upcoming wedding. I haven't done much exploring on the peninsula, and it was a gorgeous, sunny afternoon {in spite of the fact that it was snowing across the water}, so it was the perfect road trip: good conversation, lots of laughter, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge {a first!}, Port Orchard {another first!}, a delicious lunch, and of course lots of wedding talk. We also stopped by the wedding site in Port Gamble, which has been one of my favorite spots ever since I first went there a few years ago. I can't resist--look at the church where they're going to get married!

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Isn't the interior gorgeous?!

Sunday was full to the brim: first church, then brunch with Mike's family to celebrate his mom's birthday. I know it may not seem like much, but by the time we got home at 3:30 that afternoon, I was so tired that I took a two-hour nap. The nausea is getting better, but the days where I take a nap are so much better than the days where I try to power through!

And just because it may be our one-and-only snow this winter, a couple more photos I took this afternoon.

I love the lampposts scattered around the complex. They make me think of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe!

{ Dear Peanut }

2012-01-09T15:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Peanut,

It's hard for me to believe, but guess what? We are about 1/3 of the way through this pregnancy! Thirteen weeks plus a couple days is about as close to 1/3 of the way through 40 weeks as you can get. I'm sure you're happy and cozy in there, given how comfortable you are making yourself in my body. According to BabyCenter, you are about three inches long--the size of a medium shrimp--and weigh nearly an ounce.

via

It's crazy to think how tiny you are, and yet how insistently you make me aware of your presence. I'm still nauseous quite a bit, but my appetite is great. {It's very convenient, actually; last night I justified eating two brownies by saying that one was for me, and one was for you.} I haven't had any strange cravings, though there are quite a few smells that turn my stomach, and photos of food make me queasy. Naps are pretty high on my priority list, too. My pants are starting to feel snug, and sometimes I have to unbutton the middle button on my winter coat. It's at my ribcage, not my belly, but it gets so tight! I guess everything is shifting up to make room for you.

Last week Daddy and I heard your heartbeat. You kicked the Doppler probe, which made me laugh. It's amazing how tiny your heart is, given that all of you weighs less than an ounce, and yet it has all four chambers and pumps 160 times a minute.

Just in the last few days, I've started looking at nurseries on Pinterest, getting ideas for what I want to do in your room. Fair warning: You're going to be sharing it with Daddy's home office and a variety of other things that just don't fit anywhere else in our two-bedroom condo. So it has to be something that both you and Daddy will like...or at least tolerate. Here's an example of a nursery I adore, but which would probably not work as an office...

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...and here's a color scheme that would be more conducive to an office/nursery arrangement:

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{Don't you love the elephant hamper?!}

My first "official" purchase for you was an adorable, hand-painted, orange and white mini lampshade from One King's Lane, just a couple weeks after we found out about you. Tonight we are {hopefully} going to make our first big purchase in preparation for your arrival--a crib I found on craigslist. It's the exact one I've had in my mind for years when I imagined having a baby of my own. Hopefully it won't be a scam!

Well, Sweet Pea, I really ought to start cleaning out some space in that office so there will be room for your crib when we get home tonight. Stay safe and sound and comfy!

Love,

Mommy

{ Ringin' in the New Year }

2012-01-04T13:28:00.000-08:00

Confession: I don't even remember what we did for New Year's Eve last year. My best guess is that we stayed home and went to bed before midnight...that would explain why I can't remember it, right?

This year, we didn't have much planned 'til the day of. Our church rented out a bowling alley from 6 to 9pm and invited everyone to come. We hung out for a couple hours, then headed to downtown Seattle to meet up with some of Mike's friends. We went to a pub called The Blarney Stone, where the bartender made me a delicious non-alcoholic drink. When one of the girls we were with found out I was pregnant, she loudly exclaimed, "You have a human inside you?!"

Another confession: I think I'm missing some vital genetic component that most of my peers possess; namely, the ability to enjoy spending time in a crowded bar with live music so loud you can't hear anything unless someone yells directly in your ear. I just don't get why people go somewhere with friends and pay for the privilege of losing your hearing and being unable communicate with said friends. Like I said, I must be missing some important part of what it takes to be a well-adjusted twentysomething in the 21st century.

{Really, it wasn't that bad. It's just that I don't "get" these types of events!}

As midnight neared, we walked a few blocks to the skyscraper where one of the guys' uncle works. The plan was to watch the Space Needle fireworks from his office, which is on the top {36th} floor of the building. But when we got there, we found out that one of the building maintenance guys was there, and he offered to let us come up on the roof with his family!

It was so cool: This skyscraper is on the edge of the downtown core, so there were no other tall buildings obstructing our view. There was a little breeze, but no rain. There were lights...everywhere. Like tiny jewels studding the velvety black night surrounding us.

It's really hard to appreciate in the photo below, but all the boats on Lake Union were lit up and it was so pretty!

The fireworks show was great. Neither Mike nor I have ever gone downtown for the New Year or Fourth of July fireworks, so it was exciting to share this experience together, and from such a remarkable vantage point! It's a good thing we had this opportunity before having a baby, right? I have a feeling that trekking downtown to watch loud, scary fireworks is not exactly the sort of thing one does with small children!

Photos of fireworks are pretty much the most boring photos ever, so I'll stop now.

Happy New Year, everyone!

{ Christmas 2011 }

2012-01-02T19:10:00.000-08:00

This year, Mike and I were able to spend Christmas in Idaho with my side of the family.

I was excited.

I haven't spent Christmas with my family since 2008, when Mike and I were dating, and Mike has never been over for Christmas. Visions of the best Christmases past danced through my head:

lots of snow, falling softly at regular intervals

lots of sledding and inner-tubing on the hills outside Mom and Dad's house

caroling with their church, complete with haybales piled in trucks for the adventuresome to ride on

endless piles of delicious food

card games, board games, and laughing 'til my sides hurt

lots of time with family and friends I don't see often

Some of those things did happen, and they were lovely. We did go caroling, which was a blast. We were positively stuffed with scrumptious food, far more frequently than we ought to have eaten {I am convinced that my mother's love language is feeding people}. We spent lots of time with relatives and played card games to an extent that probably shocked Mike, coming as he does from a non-game-playing family. Other things didn't materialize--like, there was no snow. At all. For the entire eight days we were there. Unheard of!! I was so, so disappointed about that. Some attitude readjustment was definitely in order on that front. But other than the unseasonably warm weather, we had a great trip!

My brother Obediah and I decorated the Christmas tree

Mike did lots of target practice with my brothers Joe and Emery and my Dad.

One morning Joe, Mike, and my cousin Andrew went coyote hunting. They didn't get anything, but Mike spotted the only coyote they saw that day. Seriously, give boys some guns and they are happy for hours!

After paying no attention for some time, the horses decided they were interested in all the shooting that was going on

Joe looks a little worried...maybe he should try swinging, that always helps me feel better!

Beautiful view from the yard

And we played games. Oh, how we played games!! Scum, Phase 10, and rummy were the favorites. One night, my parents' friends Ralph and Sharon came over, and the eight of us played Phase 10...for hours. And hours. It was the game that never ended. Ralph sang "short people songs" to Sharon. Mom got slightly hysterical. I got completely confused and wasted one hand trying to get the phase I'd already gotten the time before. Finally, at 11:30pm, 5.5 hours after we started, Mike won. He snuck up from behind {after being stuck for many hands on phase 1 and phase 6} to win by both phases and points. It was so much fun, but we all pretty much fell into bed!

Obediah on one of his horses, Teko

One really special part of the week was getting to meet my brother Emery's fiancee, Becky. They are getting married in April, but because of how far apart we all live, we hadn't met her before. She's a sweet lady and they are so cute together!

Emery and one of several cool flashlights Becky gave him. A screwdriver head fits in the face of this one!

Joe used a plasma cutter to make this metal plaque for my dad. See the Caterpillar on top and "Steve's Shop" below? Cool!

Dad really enjoyed all the books we gave him about logging/timber/sawmilling in the Pacific Northwest.

Becky and her sister crocheted an afghan for Emery--I don't think I've ever seen him this delighted!

Since he was a butcher for several years, Joe was in charge of the prime rib roast we had for dinner.

It. Was. Fantastic. {And I'm not much of a meat-eater!}

Later on Christmas Day, while us kids were playing rummy, Dad and Mom decided to go on a walk. On their way outside, I couldn't help noticing that Dad was wearing...two belts.

Me: "Um, Dad, did you know you're wearing two belts?"

Dad: "Yup!"

Me: "Uhhhh...why?"

Dad: "One's to hold my pants up, one is for the gun!"

Since there had been a wolf kill a few miles away the night before, I guess I can't give him too much crap for that!

Emery napping with his new afghan and Zoe, Becky's dog

Sadly, this is the only decent photo I have of Emery and Becky together. It was hardly short of a miracle that she convinced him to ride a horse! Apparently Em's not much of a horse person nowadays...

One nice part about unseasonably warm weather was that we went on lots of walks. Sometimes just me and Mike, sometimes the two of us and Mom and Dad.

I really didn't take enough photos this trip. For example, one night there was a big get-together at my cousin's house, which involved lots of games and food and laughter and general craziness. I took one photo. And it's not great. See for yourself:

L-R: Audrey, Christy {my cousin, and auntie to all these little girls}, Emily, Obediah, and Kate

Gorgeous sunrise

The house where I grew up

While up on the farm, Joe built what I think is called a "crazy bike." It's basically a tricycle with two crazy wheels on the back. Because there are no flat, paved surfaces at my parents' house, he couldn't try it out 'til we went to town on the day we left. It is definitely a crazy bike. If only all the spinning and drifting didn't look like it would make me nauseous...

I'm so thankful for my family, the chance to spend a long chunk of time with them, and how graciously and eagerly they've integrated Mike right in. I'm also really grateful for how completely Mike has taken them as his family, and for all the time he took off of work so that we could spend Christmas with them. {In case you haven't figured it out already, Mike is amazing.} It was a wonderful week!

P.S. Mom, I didn't post any pictures of you because none of them were very flattering...and I know how you feel about pictures like that. ;-)

{ Why I Love Downtown Seattle }

2011-12-28T12:22:00.000-08:00

The weekend before Christmas, Mike and I spent the afternoon downtown. Last year we enjoyed our "downtown Christmas date" so much that we decided to make it a tradition. And we couldn't have asked for a more perfect December day: sunshine, blue skies, temps in the 40's, shops and streets bedecked in Christmas cheer.

We started down at the waterfront. After poking around Ye Olde Curiosity Shop and walking along the piers, we headed up to Pike Place Market.

West Seattle, seen from the pier

I have my own personal paparazzo!

I had never noticed these quirky light fixtures before. There are several of them as you approach the Market from the waterfront.

See the little sideways silver man?

And this...this is what I love about Pike Place Market: the happy riot of

colors

textures

shapes

accents

I could wander through the produce stalls for hours. I would take hundreds of pictures, if I were alone. My memory card thanks Mike for keeping us moving at a decent pace!

It's like a symphony for the senses. I've been here dozens of times, and it never gets old.

Part of it is the colors--the endless combinations of brilliant hues. The fruits and vegetables I've only known from photos. Part of it is the pungent scents: earthy tubers, tart citrus, fresh seafood, sweet honey, specialty olive oils. Part of it is the almost unbelievable mix of people, the cacophony of nationalities, languages, and accents that throng here daily. Part of it is just the electricity you feel here: the air is vibrant, alive. There is so much beauty, so much newness, I feel like I need to inhale with my whole being, trying to absorb all I can through all my senses.

There were beautiful bouquets of decorative cabbage. If we weren't leaving for Idaho in a few days, I'd have asked for one.

And then...the cheese shop. We didn't buy any, but we spent quite a bit of time ogling the cases and discussing which cheeses we'd like to try.

I'm getting hungry...

It delights me that even the pigs were decorated for Christmas!

For lunch, we stopped at The Pink Door, a quaint restaurant where Mike took me for drinks on our six-month dating anniversary. It looks like a hole in the wall from its Post Alley entrance, but inside--oh goodness, it's perfect. Beautiful. Otherwordly and bewitching.

The front door, decorated in honor of The Pink Door's 30th anniversary

We had a lovely lunch next to the Christmas tree. In case you're wondering, that is a swing you see hanging from the rafters. The Pink Door has nightly entertainment, from cabaret and magic to burlesque and trapeze artists. Mike was not aware of that the first time we went, and we narrowly escaped second-row seats for a burlesque show!

Next we walked to the Sheraton. Every year, the Sheraton hosts a gingerbread "house" competition to benefit the local chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Local architectural firms and chefs collaborate to create amazing gingerbread "houses" to raise money for JDRF, and viewing them is free {donations encouraged ;-) }. This year's theme was train stations. Here are a few of my favorites:

Gare du Palais, Quebec, Canada

Flinders Street Station, Melbourne, Australia

Dunedin Railway Station, New Zealand

Island of Misfit Toys

The attention to detail, and the tiny-ness of those details, was such fun to see!

Then we made our way to Westlake Park and rode the carousel. Sorry, no photos--but I can assure you that Mike has the most amazing Miss America wave and plastic smile to go with it! He even made the attendants smile. I was laughing too hard to do anything but hold on to my steed for dear life!

And then, across the street, the Macy's star, all lit up!

Mike really wanted to take me on a horse-drawn carriage ride through downtown Seattle. It was getting dark, Christmas lights were starting to twinkle everywhere we looked...and after waiting in line for a carriage for 30 minutes, we realized it would probably be at least another 30 before our turn came. I was starting to feel kind of nauseous, so we decided the carriage ride can wait for another day. {But it was super romantic and thoughtful of you to think of it, Babe!}

As we wended our way back toward the waterfront, I was stopped in my tracks by this stunning view. The Market at sunset. How have I lived here almost 11 years, and yet have never seen this before?

All the lights, the bundled-up shoppers, the crisp air--it was magical.

Just like the whole day. I can't speak for Mike, but as far as I'm concerned, our downtown Christmas date is becoming one of my favorite days of the year!

{ Merry Christmas! }

2011-12-24T09:15:00.000-08:00

Last week we had a fire in our fireplace for the first time. It's a shame: This is our third winter in this home, and our lovely fireplace has been filled with candles and seasonal knickknacks up 'til now. The truth is, we weren't sure we wanted a real fire: soot, smoke, did they really clean the chimney that one time?, etc. And the farm girl in me still isn't sure we can call it a real fire when we burned a man-made "log" wrapped in paper...

...but it was so worth it. We don't know why we didn't use the fireplace sooner! Cozy, inviting, nice and crackling and with the faint scent of smoke in the air...sigh. It's lovely.

I hope that wherever you are, your Christmas is filled with Jesus' presence. With fresh understanding and gratitude for God made helpless baby, newborn-fresh in a barn feed trough. With joy that transcends holiday stresses, family squabbles, travel woes, scorched gravy. Filled with friends and family you hold dear. With love, laughter, good food, crackling fires, rosy cheeks just in from the snow, family stories that get a little more hilarious each time they're told.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Merry Christmas, friends!

{ Kumquat }

2011-12-20T11:50:00.000-08:00

In case you are wondering, that is a kumquat.

And that's how big Peanut is this week.
I think we're going to stick with Peanut as a nickname for now...Kumquat is a bit of a tongue twister!

That's all for now.

{ Is it All About Me? Really? }

2011-12-16T08:00:00.000-08:00

I am a complainer.

A whiner extraordinaire.
Really, to hear my internal dialogue on most days is to conclude that it's all about me and life is really really crummy.

If perhaps some small part of your heart disagrees with those statements, my pride would like to thank you. But unfortunately for my pride, the past six weeks have brought my whining, complaining, it's-all-about-me belief system firmly into the light and kept it there. And it's ugly.

This pregnancy, while not nearly as difficult as many I've heard about, has been quite uncomfortable at times. I've thrown up on a few occasions, I feel nauseous pretty frequently, my energy levels are lower than I ever remember. Pretty standard first trimester stuff. How I've responded to these inconveniences is another story.

I describe my miseries frequently and publicly. {Hello, Facebook friends!} {I'm very grateful, by the way, for my friends' gracious feedback--they've provided my best anti-nausea tips. What I'm saying is that my motivation for frequent "woe is me" posts is less than stellar.}
When people ask how I'm doing, my responses center around my most recent {unpleasant} physical symptoms.
I feel sorry for myself. So, so sorry.
My thought life consists of how I'm feeling, what I can do to prevent myself from feeling worse, and what will I do if I puke??
I cautiously pencil in plans with friends, making it very clear that if I feel crummy, we'll have to reschedule.

A couple of weeks ago, I realized that I think I deserve better than this. I don't deserve to be saddled with food aversions and a stomach that spontaneously empties with no warning. I really truly believed--the same way I believe that Jesus is God and my birthday is always on April 18--I believed that when I had babies, I'd be spared this stuff. See, I like kids, and we want to have a lot of them. The Lord says that children are a blessing and He loves them--Jesus even rebuked the disciples for trying to keep children away from Him {Matthew 19:13-15}. So I figured that since I'm eager to welcome these little people that Jesus loves, He wouldn't make me go through the nasty parts of pregnancy. I know, I know, it's absurd...but it was a very real, if subconscious, part of how I carried out my days.

I'm a wimp to begin with. I don't like pain and suffering. My preferred method of dealing with pain is medication and sleep. I suppose it's part of our culture: It's so easy, so normal, to choose that which is easiest, most comfortable, less trouble, more convenient.

And there you have it: Pregnancy isn't convenient. Much as we already love this little grape-size person, his/her presence inside me is wreaking all kinds of havoc on my comfort-and-convenience-centered heart. But isn't that what all the truly good things in life do? Stretch us, usually in places where stretching is uncomfortable {that's why it's called stretching, Nikki. Remember that.}. I'm so familiar with this concept in the context of marriage; it's almost a cliche in some Christian circles. "Marriage is about holiness, not happiness." So true but my ears can become dull even to truth and I so easily gloss over that which is familiar--yeah, yeah, I've heard this dozens of times before, I know, I get it.

I never thought to consider that this truth may apply to the next big life-change as well: Children. What if children aren't about making me happy, but another tool God uses to chisel away my ugly parts and remake me into someone who reflects His beauty, rather than her own ugliness? What if
parenthood is about holiness, not happiness?

What if this refining process doesn't begin when the baby is born, but when you feel the first pangs of morning sickness?
What if God uses even an unborn baby to transform me more into His image?
What if I've been believing a lie: that life is supposed to be easy; and the stripping away of this lie is not hardship, but mercy? Love performing soul surgery, pouring antiseptic on a soul-infection? What if nausea and weird ligament pains and strange food aversions are ways Jesus is loving me? Showing me how much I need Him?

What if this is all Love?

So this is where I am right now, what I'm wrestling with. If you ask me how I'm doing and I start to b**ch about this and that, feel free to rebuke me. Remind me that it's not all about me. Remind me of Jesus. I certainly am glad I have seven months to work through this before the real challenges begin!

{ Christmas Goodies }

2011-12-13T19:10:00.000-08:00

Much as I love Christmas candy, and fortuitous though it is that I'm not working outside the home, I'm not going crazy with the sweets this year.

My reason is that Peanut isn't very fond of anything in the general category of "making food"--though baking and candy-making are by far the easiest kinds of "food" for me to tackle right now!

Last year I made several kinds of candies and cookies, and Mike and I gave them in little gift bags to our nearest neighbors. We're planning to do the same this year. Though both of us love oreo truffles {recipe here}, they take f.o.r.e.v.e.r. to make--even with two people!--so I have decided to try all new recipes.

Yesterday I made two batches of chocolate nutella fudge with sea salt...YUM! If you want to give this creamy, delicious, hazelnutty, chocolatey, decadent, slightly salty treat a try, here is the recipe. Added bonus: her photos are much more appetizing than mine. I just have a point-and-shoot camera, but when I look at this I still want to lick my computer screen.

I've also made peppermint gumdrops, thanks to Bakerella's recipe here. In spite of generous administration of red food coloring, my gumdrops are definitely orangey, not red as I'd hoped. Oh well. They still taste like peppermint, and it's just fun to say that you've made gumdrops!

Right now I'm making oreo bark, in honor of the illustrious oreo--quite possibly Mr. and Mrs. Mike's favorite cookie. {Well.....favorite store-bought cookie. I don't think anything can shake chocolate chip cookies, or M&M cookies, from the #1 Cookie spot in Mike's heart.} I forgot to take photos...sorry. And I'm not sure why I'm so italicised tonight. Lots of things just need a little extra emphasis, apparently.

What are your favorite Christmas treats? Something your mom or grandma made? A delicious recipe you just found? Do tell!

{ Married Math }

2011-12-07T13:03:00.000-08:00

Mike

Nikki

baby!

Due July 2012

We are beyond blessed!

{ Thanksgiving }

2011-11-29T16:53:00.000-08:00

Why is it that I always neglect to take pictures on holidays? Next time, it will not happen. I promise! We're going to Idaho to spend Christmas with my family for the first time since we got married--it will be the first time Mike hasn't spent Christmas with his family. Eeeeek! I'm just a little excited! I haven't been back during the winter since 2008, so this is long overdue! It's so different, being in the country, surrounded by snow {hopefully}, woodsmoke in the air. It's so still. So.....different from Christmas in the city. I'm excited to experience it with Mike.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. *ahem* Back to Thanksgiving, which was almost a week ago. As I was saying, not many photos were taken, and all of them contain only three subjects: Mike, his sister Amaryah, and me. *ahem* Apparently we're a little narcissistic....but I'll let you judge for yourself:

Mike and Amaryah goofing off

"Get your head closer to Nikki's!"

"Good...but this time smile."

Oh yes, I married a handsome man.

"OK Amaryah, now it's YOUR turn to get your head closer to Nikki's..."

I have a lot of cute, full-length aprons, and it's become something of a tradition for me to bring my aprons for all to use when we have big family dinners. Mike is always in charge of carving the turkey on Thanksgiving, and since he was dressed up, I offered him an apron. Here's the amazing part: He took it. It must be a testament to his fondness for the vest, I think. Regardless, this moment required documentation.

I tried to be sneaky, knowing Mike would not want himself wearing an apron to be documented photographically.

Apparently not sneaky enough...

Success!! {I think you look great, babe.}

We had Thanksgiving at Mike's parents' house, the only place sort of big enough to accommodate the extended family...and it was a tight squeeze! There was so much delicious food; lots of laughter; a very efficient dishwashing brigade; and then, when you were just beginning to think that maybe you're comfortably {instead of uncomfortably} full, there was dessert. Oi vey!

We have so much to be thankful for: A home. Mike's job. Functional cars. Good health. New insurance for both of us. Family nearby. Friends, near and far. In spite of the unexpected nature of my job loss last month, we are in a really good place, in so many ways, and for that I can only say, Thank you Jesus!

{ Go East, Young Woman, Go East! }

2011-11-18T13:56:00.000-08:00

Before it becomes ancient history, I'd like to tell you about my road trip to Eastern Washington two weeks ago. It was my first week jobless, and I jumped at the chance to take a little more time than usual and visit my dear friend Anna, who lives 300 miles away. You can read Anna's blog here, but we've been friends since way before blogging. Like, our moms were pregnant with us together. Sometimes I call us fetal friends.

The first thing I did when I got to Anna's hometown was park in front of her house, run in and hug her, and head down the hill to meet my cousin Christy and my brother Joe for coffee. They both live nearby and this was the only time that worked out for us to see each other. {Aren't I a horrible houseguest, Ann?}

Joe, Christy and I had a great time catching up. There was a significant amount of girly talk, since Christy just got engaged, as well as a significant amount of mechanical talk, because Christy is taking some sort of let's-disassemble-and-reassemble-your-car's-engine-in-less-than-25-minutes college class that goes waaaaaaay over my head. She is clearly a very well-rounded young woman. ;-) It had been much too long since I'd last spent time with these folks, and it was so fun to chat!

I'll let you guess which is Christy and which is Joe in the photos below:

That wasn't too hard, was it?

It never feels like you get to spend enough time with friends who live far away, does it? Regardless, the time that we do have together is always so rich. I love just being able to do normal life with friends: grocery shopping, errand running, going to church and Bible study. Getting to know what their normal, everyday lives are like. Anna and I, and little Oliver, did all of those things during my time with them. Anna's husband Tim was present for a lot of it, too, but somehow I didn't get any photos of him. We cooked, we did laundry {oh did we ever do laundry...I'd like to take a moment to say that if you're ever about to shake up a bottle of oil and vinegar salad dressing, during Bible study potluck, in a complete stranger's house, in the presence of 20+ people you just met, please make sure the lid is securely attached to the bottle before shaking! Otherwise you may anoint yourself, the person standing next to you, and the kitchen with oil and vinegar salad dressing. THAT'S not awkward or anything. The silver lining is that I learned Anna's stain removal tricks and maybe she'll write a blog post about them someday.}, where was I? Oh yes, we did laundry, we watched girly movies, we ate delicious food...it was lovely.

Oliver's scrunchy faces kill me. He is such a little ham! The darlingest there ever was.

On Sunday afternoon we took a walk through a lovely neighborhood full of beautiful, stately old houses. I'm a sucker for old houses, so I thoroughly enjoyed myself!

Look at Oliver's feet go! He was happy to be out, too.

I'm so glad I was able to make this trip. In spite of missing Mike something fierce {4 1/2 days turned into a really long time, from that perspective!!}, it was a really special time spent with dear friends I don't see nearly often enough. Even the relationships where you feel like you're able to pick up right where you left off, no matter how long it's been, are worth the effort and investment of road trips and long weekends away from the comforts of home.

{ Tension }

2011-11-15T12:50:00.000-08:00

I place so much value on productivity.

Like, soooooo much.

I am a person who thrives in structure and stability. As my friend Misha put it: "a system to create in and a process for enjoyment." That really captures the sort of structured freedom in which I work best. One of my preconceptions about becoming a stay-at-home-wife {SAHW} was that it would be an easy transition because I was homeschooled all my life 'til college. I'm familiar with being self-motivated and getting things done on my own and making priorities and accomplishing them. This'll be a piece of cake.

And yet, a couple nights ago, I literally had a fight with myself when Mike walked in the door after work. With every fiber of my being, I suddenly wanted to show him my to-do list for the day--what I'd accomplished, what I'd crossed off, how productive I'd been. I matter. I was alive today. I did XYZ and so it's okay that I don't work outside the home, look at all the important things I did! It was an abrupt and gut-wrenching desire for his validation and approval.

Do I matter, even when there is no paycheck attached to my activities, no nod of approval from a manager, no camaraderie with coworkers? When most people won't see or know what I do on a daily basis?

This morning I read an interview with Ann Voskamp in WORLD magazine. One sentence struck a deep chord in this feels-like-I'm-flailing heart of mine:

"A mother does eternal work in hidden, quiet places."

Hidden, quiet places.

Like home.

Hidden, quiet places are okay. Normal. Mike doesn't ask me to validate my day by producing a checklist of duties accomplished. He trusts that I will figure it out. I, in turn, trust that Jesus has it figured out and that by sticking close to Him, I am exactly where He wants me to be.

This word isn't just for mothers; it's for a young woman clinging to Jesus as her Rock in a world that has changed and shifted so much these past weeks.

There is a beautiful beach with a ferry dock about 10 minutes from our home. Yesterday was unusually sunny for November here in the Pacific Northwest, so after running errands I went down to the beach with a book to enjoy the beauty. Even before I went, I felt guilty. Why should I enjoy so much beauty while Mike is working in a cubicle? Shouldn't I go home and organize the storage closet while the weather's nice? This is a waste of time, really, and I'm afraid people already think I'm wasting my life now that I don't have a job, so I should really do something productive.

Ah, there it is. Fear of man, trying to rob me of gorgeous afternoon-gift from Jesus. I didn't listen. I bundled up and sat in the sunshine and read and laughed at the funny seagulls and soaked in the goodness of the moment. Today, as I look back on my rebellion against my old slavedriver, fear of man, I think of another quote from Ann Voskamp's interview:

"I preach the gospel to the person who needs to hear it the most: me. I need the truth of God's word, and to encounter afresh the grace of Jesus Christ...I will out-loud preach the gospel to myself. My children hear me quoting Scripture back to myself, giving thanks in situations, being very intentional about focusing on the Lord."

There it is. I need to preach the gospel--to myself. In these moments of uncertainty, when fear tries to grab the reins, I need to preach the gospel to myself. I need to nestle in closer to Jesus. I need to choose to believe what I know to be Truth, not what I am afraid of {or what I am afraid is truth}.

Some days, preaching the gospel to myself may just mean an afternoon at the beach, refusing to preach fear of man and pride and identity-in-works by instead saying "yes" to beauty, joy, peace, and a few hours of doing "nothing."

{ Promised Land }

2011-11-12T14:35:00.000-08:00

What is your Promised Land?

The place you want to get to, no matter what? That tantalizing spot where you're sure life will be good?

My Promised Land is being a stay-at-home-wife. I have honestly never thought of this as being a problem--an idol--a false source of comfort, hope, security, and meaning {because I'm trying to find comfort, hope, security, and meaning outside of Jesus}. 'Til I reached my fantasy "Promised Land" and found it doesn't imbue my existence with meaning the way I thought it would.

I'm here: I'm a stay-at-home-wife. My job ended very unexpectedly on October 31st. I used to work for a company that had a contract for over 25 years with a local hospital. We were told, less than four weeks in advance, that the hospital chose not to renew their contract with my company. I won't go into the details, except to say that it was very abrupt and very short notice. My income isn't necessary for us to live, so we will be okay financially. I was going to start working three days a week in November anyway.

So now, twelve days into this grand stay-at-home-wife adventure, I'm knocking my head against the cold, hard wall of reality: This ain't no Promised Land. Don't get me wrong: I have an amazing, hardworking, understanding, supportive husband; a lovely home; life is good. The problem is that for years I've worshipfully looked forward to this season as my Promised Land: Flowing with milk and honey, free of a job and a pager and stress and worry. Plenty of time for homemaking and crafting and cooking and nesting and of course my health will be perfect and this season will be perfect. It will be my Promised Land. It is where I want to be, regardless of whether or not God is there. It will be completely satisfying and my life will be deeply meaningful in this season, regardless of whether or not Jesus is present, because the season is what matters. The season is my source of identity and hope and comfort and joy and meaning.

It sounds so yucky, so bloated with hollow pride, saying it that way. Yet that's what I've expected being a SAHW to be like. God, ever loving, knew that being a SAHW alone is not going to fulfill me. Only Jesus fulfills me. I am learning that, even through beautiful and unexpected gifts He's bestowed during the past two weeks:

a long trip to visit a dear friend on the other side of the state {photos coming soon!}

generous severance check from my employer, much more than we expected

sweet bonding time with Mr. Mike

a nasty stomach bug that has left me wiped out for 2+ days so far

Each day the truth is hitting a bit harder, a bit closer to my heart: Just being a SAHW isn't worth it. Isn't the culmination of my existence. Isn't the root of my fulfillment. Jesus' presence is the only source of joy, meaning, hope, and fulfillment in any season--including the stay-at-home-wife season. I've imagined that being a SAHW is the root from which all that is good in my life will flow. I see now that there is much good in this season--but the source of that good is Jesus. Jesus who was there with me when I worked full-time, Jesus who was there with me when I was a college student, Jesus who will be with me when I'm a stay-at-home-mom, Jesus who will be with me if I work outside the home in the future.

Jesus is my Promised Land.

That's God's whole point: to dwell with us! He created us for unbroken community with Him, but it was broken by Adam and Eve's sin. Jesus came to restore our community with God; but the full culmination waits for His second coming:

"Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God." ~ Revelation 21:3

This is hard and I'm still just learning it, walking the edges of it, wide-eyed and grieved at my hardheartedness and pride. I'm hungry for Jesus' presence. I'm ashamed that I so easily wrote Him out of my picture of the ideal life, assumed that what really mattered was not having a job. I was eager to exchange His presence for stuff. In His great mercy, He hasn't let me get away with that.

Please dwell with me, Jesus. Every day. Amen.

{ Ugly-Beautiful }

2011-10-25T21:52:00.000-07:00

Where to begin?

Deep breath. In. Out.

The sheer glory of autumn's splendor, the glad riot of changing leaves, is breathtaking. The majesty of the trees in their crimson, gold, and fire-orange garb never gets old, year after year.

On still nights, I can hear the nearby high school's marching band. I'd forgotten how much I love marching bands. I'd forgotten the time, years ago, that two friends and I went to a marching band contest/performance at Qwest Field, and how much I enjoyed it.

Crisp, clear autumn days, edged with fog, tinged with woodsmoke, call me to welcome the coming winter.

I am seriously tempted to buy a salted caramel latte every.single.day. Usually multiple times.

I give in to the above impulse more often than I should.

If you make P-Dub's mouthwatering chicken tortilla soup, please do not substitute flour tortillas for the corn tortillas the recipe requires. I did, because I was out of corn tortillas. In soup, pieces of flour tortilla transform into huge, slimy, nasty, disgusting squares of snot that taste like wet dough. Sooooo nasty. Do not do it.

Jesus is teaching me hard things. Mike and I are doing a sort of Bible study called Redemption Group. I am at a loss to put into words the work God is doing in my heart. Perhaps it's hard to describe because I'm still in the thick of it. He's opening my blind eyes to the truth--about Him and about me. I believe a lot of lies, about Him and about me. Here's a brief quote from my answer to one of this week's reflection questions: What false belief am I protecting?

I am not truly a sinner. I am not completely, 100% sinner to my core. I only sometimes (partially) need Jesus' forgiveness. I don't believe that my sins are truly SINFUL: I think they're excusable, understandable, ok, cute, funny; quirks, not evil. I don't understand myself to be evil.

I believe that I am good and I am worthy of glory and that my image is glorious. I not only think I'm on equal ground with God; I think I deserve to be on equal turf with Him. I believe God is in error when He says all (including me) have sinned and that my salvation is through Jesus alone. What?! Not through me?! I contribute! I contribute to my salvation! If God disagrees, it's because He refuses to look at my "evidence." Not only do I passively contribute (when I don't actively sin), I also actively contribute (when I do good things). Yes, I definitely help Jesus save me.

Oh God, how bitter this is! How full of bile and gall! Sick and twisted-ugly. I have built this shell for years: thick, hard, impervious (often) to conviction. So tight: suffocating, constricting, painful, death-causing. I don't want to face the truth that I am broken, bloody, bleeding, guts spilled, dying, filthy, wretched, covered in vomit and feces and urine, wallowing in the unspeakable horror of my self, NEEDING You to rescue me...so I spin myself a cocoon of lies, inoculate myself against the Holy Spirit with half-truths, spin tighter and harder and closer so I don't see, hear, feall the truth about me. And if I can blind myself to the truth about me--needy! broken! wretched! filthy! evil! NEEDY!!!--I can also blind myself to the truth about Your scandalous grace.

Disgusting? Yes. I'm sorry if that description is uncomfortable: Being confronted with my sin--that I am a sinner who daily offends a Holy God--is uncomfortable, to say the least. It's a new truth for me. Praise God for His pursuit of me, for the layers of sin and idol-worship and me-worship He's revealing and peeling off! It's like breathing deep when you didn't realize you were breathing shallow: In. Out. Relief.

I hope you are all enjoying autumn's splendor and that you can rest in Jesus' pursuit of you, leaning hard into His grace.

{ Weekending }

2011-10-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

What are your plans for the weekend?

I have a scratchy throat, so I'm hoping for a sleep-in sort of Saturday morning.

"Sleeping in" is something I'm not very familiar with of late...at least not since last month when Sunday became a 5:00 AM alarm sort of day!

Next I'd like a few hours to read the next chapter in the Redemption Group book, browse Pinterest, and blog. It would be fabulous if someone could bring me a salted caramel latte, too.

via

My imaginary housekeeper would take care of the laundry {even folded and put away!}, clean the bathroom, vacuum, and do the dishes. This most beloved figment of my imagination would also fix a double batch of the Pioneer Woman's comfort meatballs so I wouldn't feel bad about eating so many in one sitting.

via

Then, in the afternoon, Mr. Husband and I would do something really fun and romantic and outside our little domestic workaday rut.

Like go on a tour of Theo Chocolate with our friends Luke and Joanna and taste delicious organic chocolates with unusual ingredients like coconut curry or bread or fig, fennel & almond and laugh till one of us girls threatens to pee our pants. And then maybe...maybe...we wouldn't have had enough fun together yet, so we'd go find other adventures in the urban jungle of Seattle and laugh some more and maybe find a brewpub and enjoy a pint.

Doesn't that sound like a good plan?!

And it's actually going to happen--the part from Theo Chocolates on, that is. The reality of my Saturday morning is probably going to involve a lot more laundry, cooking and cleaning than Pinterest and blogwalking, but that's really what we're going to do tomorrow afternoon! {I'm so proud of us! We're not old married folk all the time--though I give people plenty of reasons to think I'm an antique!}

For now, I'm enjoying a mug of hot spiced cider. And I think I'll get a head start on that laundry.

Happy Weekending!

{ In Which I Reveal My Antiquity }

2011-10-05T18:53:00.000-07:00

My husband turned 25 last month. It was a rather momentous occasion for both of us. Twenty-five is a milestone birthday: Quarter of a century, halfway to 50, etc. It's how old I turned just three weeks after we started dating {yes, yes, I'm a cougar}. So now that the fresh-faced 22-year-old man I married is now 25, that means I'm really old. Like, 3.5 years older than he is. {I'm tired. I'll let you do the math.}

As in, so old that I lose birthday presents.

Or wait--did I??

I don't know if it's just me or maybe it's the men in my family, but I have the hardest time buying gifts for my dad, brothers, and now my husband. Usually I haven't the foggiest what they'd like. After much prodding, Mike gave me a list of gadgets he'd like for his birthday and I {of course} waited till it was almost too late to order them online. The package would probably arrive before his birthday, but might possibly get here late.

As long as we've been married, Mike has gotten the mail every night on his way home from work. It's what his dad did and it works for us. As his birthday neared, I started stopping at the mailbox on the way home in case his gift had arrived. Sometimes I'd remember to tell him. Sometimes he'd walk in the front door and, slightly exasperated, exclaim, "Did you get the mail today? Because I stopped and there was nothing!"

His birthday came and went. No package. Crestfallen, I still stopped at the mailbox most days...even if it was late, I wanted it to be a surprise. A surprise that he hadn't shaken for twenty minutes before bringing it in to the house.

Finally, about a week after Mike's birthday, I decided to see if my emailed receipt had a tracking number. Sure enough, it did. I looked up the package.....and according to the USPS, it had been delivered on September 20. Three days before Mike's birthday.

I. Flipped.

We live in a condo. Every unit in our complex has a locked mailbox at a central location. Adjacent to the regular mailboxes is a bank of larger locked boxes for packages. This is the only place the USPS delivers mail to our complex. I was now faced with these possibilities: (a) someone had stolen the package {or the key for a larger box} from our mailbox; (b) the package had been put in a larger box, but the key had been accidentally put in someone else's mailbox and they had decided to keep the package; or (c) the mailman had gone nuts, driven to our unit, placed the package on our stoop, and someone had stolen it.

Two of my childhood friends' fathers work for the USPS. I was not buying (c). But I was totally revved up to chew out some poor, unsuspecting postal worker. They had screwed up my husbands 25th birthday present!!!

I called the post office from which the package had been delivered, but of course the recorded message said they only answered the phone till 3:00pm. It was 3:02.

The next day, work was really busy and I didn't have a chance to call. But I sure wanted to!

The following day was again very busy and I wasn't able to call before 3:00. It was Friday, and as usual after work I went to the grocery store. Back at my car, I unlocked the trunk to put the groceries in and....

......drugstore mailers. Missing-children fliers. A bill. Junk mail. A bubble wrap package. Strewn across the trunk of my car like....like they'd been riding around back there for ten days.

Unbelieving, I picked up the package and ripped it open. Sure enough, the phone accessories I'd purchased for Mike! I don't know how long I stood in the parking lot, holding the package, a cart of groceries next to me. I have no memory of picking up the mail and there being a package. I have no memory of putting a day's worth of mail in the trunk. Why would I put it in the trunk?!! That makes no sense! I have no need to do that. I don't put anything in the trunk except groceries. Why do I not have even the tiniest remembrance of this occurrence?

When Mike got home from work that night, I sheepishly told him of my discovery. He grinned glee at my absentmindedness and embarrassment--I'd been quite vocal regarding the mysterious disappearance of this package. That the package had actually arrived three days before his birthday, I'd gotten it from the mailbox, put it in my trunk {again, why???}, and not only forgotten about it but thought it had never been delivered for the following ten days, is quite amusing. In a really disturbing, I'm-still-in-my-twenties-and-this-does-not-bode-well-for-my-mental-capacities-in-the-future sort of way.

If you see me wandering around the internet looking lost...please take my hand and show me the way back home!

{ Kaua'i ~ Part IX: North Shore Favorites }

2011-10-02T18:48:00.000-07:00

At last: The last of our Kaua'i photos. Friends of ours are on the Big Island this week, enjoying their honeymoon, which reminded me that there are a few more pictures I want to post from our trip. Some of our favorite things from Kauai's north shore, our home-away-from-home for two lovely weeks this summer.

Favorite drinks: The martinis at Bouchons Hanalei, which they serve with the shaker--so you get a good 2+ drinks for the price of one! Note: Mike wants to make it clear that he only drinks girly drinks {such as martinis} when vacationing in the tropics. He wants everyone to know that this is the only circumstance under which it is ok for guys to drink girly drinks.

Favorite dessert: The caramelized banana deliciousness seen above, also served at Bouchons Hanalei.

Favorite stretch of road {for me, anyway}: The tiny one-lane bridges that dot Kauai's north coast.

Favorite beach: Kahalahala Beach, hands-down our favorite stretch of sand on the island. Big waves on one end if you want some excitement; a shallow pool for kids on the other end, and perfect waves for us in between. We loved every minute at this beach!

Looking back at Kahalahala beach from the lava outcropping you see in the photo above

Favorite evening walk on the beach: Dusk at Hanalei Bay, watching the sunset over the ocean as the clouds rolled in over the mountains.

Favorite lookout: This breathtaking vista of the Hanalei Valley was minutes from our condo. On a couple of occasions, the clouds lifted completely and we could see the tops of all the mountains rimming the valley. Stunning!

Favorite beach, take 2: Yes, we went back to Kahalahala. You would've, too.

Favorite beach boy: My husband. Notice how he mixed a mai tai and brought it to the beach in a water bottle. I love that man!

Nine posts, dozens of photos shared, hundreds more tucked away on my hard drive. Mike and I are so blessed that we were able to take this vacation, that we were able to have these adventures and make these memories together. I'm humbled by the Lord's immense grace in giving us the resources to make this amazing trip happen. It was better, I think, than either of us even imagined it would be.

Thank you, Jesus.

{ A Door Ajar }

2011-09-27T12:25:00.000-07:00

I slip into a chair mid-row, alone, breathless from a morning of nonstop running. Mike is busy "putting out fires," as volunteer leads frequently must; he'll try to catch the next service. I curl fingers around paper cup. Coffee's getting cold.

Pastor Mark is talking about Jesus' close friends, Peter and Judas. They both betrayed Him. He loved them anyway. He opened His heart to Peter, Peter who denied he know Jesus in His darkest hour, Peter who left Him, Peter who abandoned and betrayed Him at His weakest. Jesus still gave His trust to Peter, He still extended vulnerability to Peter, even after Peter disowned Him. Even after so much broken trust, He was vulnerable with Peter. He entrusted to Peter the shepherding of His church.

Jesus didn't let past betrayal and abandonment define His relationships.

Heart heaves in chest.

This, this ugly pain, I know it well. I never thought I'd be one scarred by broken relationships. Yet I am. Yesterday in Redemption Group I cried in front of perfect strangers, that embarrassing sob-cry that catches in the throat and makes words come out askew, talking about how this fear that chokes my life. This fear of being vulnerable. This desperate attempt to be invulnerable and free of needs, because to need--to be imperfect--is to open yourself to assistance from others, others who may hurt you where you are most vulnerable.

Jesus doesn't just know. He faces the choice to be vulnerable and does Yes. He opens His heart to weak and flawed and sin-drenched people. Every time, He says Yes.

I finger rim of cup. I don't usually say Yes. And yet I loathe the prison of isolation and false perfection that No builds, the strangling hold that sucks away breath and leaves me gasping alone.

Two days later, our pastor's wife shares a link to Ann Voskamp's words here, and I hear Him again, wooing me soft toward the freedom of Yes. Three days, three nudges, three invitations to dwell with Him in a place of trust.

Part of that is here. Even this, the writing and selecting "publish post," it is hard for she who wants to present a flawless and competent facade of self-sufficiency. I wrestle to reveal my true self, and it's easier to do so through the impersonal computer screen that face-to-face with people whose reactions I cannot control.

I am walking down a road I've long avoided. I say this not to be prideful, but to humbly acknowledge the fears and attempts to control that have shaped me and to say No more! I can begin here. I can begin to crack open the doors of my heart and say, Welcome, friend. You are welcome here, in my little patch of cyberspace. I am so glad you are here. Thank you for walking with me. My steps are wobbly, and I'm not sure where this road will take us, but welcome.

{ Redemption }

2011-09-25T18:33:00.000-07:00

What if God's picture of redemption for my life doesn't look like my picture of redemption?

I am wrestling with the idea that this isn't actually a question, it's a statement: God's picture of redemption for my life does not look like my picture.

In my picture of the redeemed life God has prepared for me, there is enough money with manageable working hours. I won't have to work when we have kids. Serving at church and in the community doesn't actually require us to sacrifice time or energy I'd rather spend elsewhere. We're healthy and pain-free, not stressed, sort of skipping through sun-filled days, weeks, and years.

I can tell you right now, folks, that is not what reality looks like!!

This quarter, Mike and I are blessed and privileged to be attending Redemption Group through our church {more info here}. As the website describes, "a Redemption Group™ is an intense small group that digs deep into difficult and seldom-discussed areas of life, such as abuse, addiction, and trials of all sorts....Far beyond Bible study, Redemption Groups are about life study—your life connecting with Jesus’ life." This weekend was the "intensive," ten hours of intro sessions. Already I see Jesus moving so powerfully and lovingly in my heart and the hearts of other participants. At the end of the day, Mike asked me if I cried. My response: "I cried every time someone talked, including myself!" While I'm excited for the transformation I expect the Lord to work in my heart, I'm also scared of the process--replacing lies with the truth isn't a painless process, and we have an enemy who would dearly love to see me remain enslaved to habitual sin.

Right now, part of God's picture of redemption for Mike and I involves showing up here at 6:30am on Sunday morning

{our entire church setup is in that white trailer!!}

and helping transform this gymnasium into a place where about 400 people at a time can gather to worship Jesus.

My part in all this is not strictly necessary, but I think it's very much appreciated: I'm one of the "caffeine angels" who makes coffee for everyone. It's amazing how exhausting it can be to make coffee for hours. You'd think it's a piece of cake. I have blisters on my feet to prove it isn't...and the hubs and I have actually started taking naps when we get home on Sunday afternoons!

It is truly amazing to see God's hand in this church plant. We were hoping for 500 people the first Sunday {there are two services}, and a whopping 787 people showed up! Praise the Lord!

Note: All photos in this post taken from here.

{ Snapshots }

2011-09-23T17:58:00.000-07:00

: : Moments I don't want to forget, from late August/early September 2011 : :

: : Labor Day BBQ with this sweet friend and her dear little man-child : :

Isn't he the most impish little fellow you've ever seen?

: : Community group girls' night, complete with cheese AND chocolate fondue {fondid? fondone? fondelicious!} : :

Krissy making cheese fondue

Someone borrowed my camera and used it against me...

I don't remember how we got on the topic of using pantyhose as a mask/disguise, but Joanna and Kalie took it one step further by creating a conjoined pantyhose mask. Props to you ladies!

: : Our table, set for a dinner party with friends : :

: : Pottery Barn lookalike lamp: Base from Target, lampshade from Tuesday Morning, recovered with burlap and grosgrain ribbon. I love it. : :

: : Lavendar on the mantle : :

: : My other new lamp, a sale find at Cost Plus World Market : :

Isn't the little owl dear?

I know better than to say things like, "I promise I'll post again soon!"

Seems like every time I say that, weeks and weeks go by before I log into blogger.

There are lots of big changes--some for sure, some just thinking about--at our fingertips. Last Sunday we helped launch a new church. It was the first of many Sundays where we'll begin setup at 6:30am and finish at 2:00pm. Tonight Mr. Husband and I are starting an intense sort of Bible study/recovery group that runs for eight weeks. Pray for our hearts...that we'll be open to Jesus and that He will move us and change us in big ways during this time.

All this to say, don't be surprised if posting is a little less than regular. There's a whole lot of life going on right now, and it's cutting into computer time! Which, I suppose, isn't a bad thing at all.

{ Laughter }

2011-09-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

He's sitting kitty-corner to me at the dining room table, shaking with laughter so hard it's silent, face contorted and red with hysteria, forgotten sandwich still in his hand.

I'm gasping for breath, trying over and over to get the next word out between gales of laughter, not sure which is funnier--the blog post I'm reading out loud or Mike's reaction to it.

It hits me suddenly, and my stomach lurches with the realization and the sinking feeling:
When did we stop laughing?

I hadn't even noticed before. But this--me and Mike, sitting down, fooling around, sharing a funny website in the middle of a jam-packed Saturday--I don't remember the last time that happened. We're too busy for things like this. We have schedules and meetings and lots of commitments taking up the always-too-short days, and we're responsible and trustworthy and hardworking and we do what needs to be done and fall in bed exhausted late at night, only to do it all over again the next day. But we don't do this. We don't pause between the sixty-two Very Important Things slated for the day, take 15 minutes to relax together between the crush of responsibilities and activities and laugh ourselves silly over a new comedian I found. We just don't.

Mike and I, we both have a tendency to let the "cares of the world" choke us. Myself much more than Mike; he's a champion of "we are going to stop the Very Important Things we are doing and have date night." But me? I didn't even realize how serious, how goal-oriented, how lifeless my approach to life has become 'til I shared a long round of tummyache-inducing laughter with my husband. I said a little prayer of repentance in my head and, once we had sufficiently recovered our breath, I launched into another blog post--not just repentance with words, but repentance with deeds!

Later that night over dinner, Deborah and I marvel as we watch our husbands render themselves helpless with laughter over and over again. They were roommates before we got married, Kevin and Deborah's wedding just three weeks after ours. Deborah and I grin at their joy and I shake my head: "I'd forgotten how good these two are for each other. We need to get together more often!"

Laughter, you are welcome in our home. Surprise us. Entice us. Don't let us shut you out.

{ These Days }

2011-09-11T20:26:00.000-07:00

I don't want to forget these days.

I don't want to forget that getting up an hour earlier than usual--even though I'm not going to bed earlier--is totally worth it when I spend that hour reading the Word.

I don't want to forget that even when I don't feel like I "learned" much, when there wasn't a single verse to highlight, when it seems it was just groggy Nikki reading the Bible purely for the sake of reading the Bible, His Word never returns empty but always accomplishes the purposes God desires {Isaiah 55:11}. That extra hour in bed is always worth sacrificing for time with Jesus.

I don't want to forget the golden-edged sunlight of warm September days, balmy breezes in eveningtime and a hint of autumn in the air.

I don't want to forget how exciting it is to drink the first pumpkin spice latte of the season.

I don't want to forget how a bunch of lavender on the mantle scents our entire home.

I don't want to forget an amazing send-off from our home church: Everyone who is part of the new church plant came to the front of the auditorium, and the elders prayed for us and for the new church we're starting next Sunday.

if you know where to look, you can see half of me and Mike!

I don't want to forget how much we laugh at work--even in the midst of training a new employee.

I don't want to forget how sweet it is when I trust Mike and just rest in his leadership.

I don't want to forget the Holy Spirit's presence at our community group communion service.

I don't want to forget the laughter and food and fellowship of girls' night, from cheese and chocolate fondue to embarrassing stories to heartfelt conversations about Jesus and relationships.

I don't want to forget the joy of having friends over for dinner, life and laughter shared over good food.

I don't want to forget that these days--these ordinary, commonplace, unexciting days--are pure gift.

{ Kaua'i ~ Part VIII: Polihale + Sunset }

2011-09-02T06:43:00.000-07:00

Getting around Kauai is interesting. The island is basically a circle, but because of the rugged mountains in the interior {remember Mt. Waialeale, one of the wettest spots on earth?}, Kauai's highways go around the rim of the island. And because of the Na Pali coast, the highway is a broken circle--it doesn't go all the way around: There's a 17-mile stretch along the northwest side that is road-free.

We stayed at Princeville, just a few miles from the north end of the highway. So, to get to Polihale, the westernmost beach on Kauai, we drove literally all the way around the island, but ended up within 10 miles {as the crow flies} of where we started.

Polihale is an immense beach. It's 15 miles long and about 300 feet wide. Once the highway ends, you have to take dirt roads for about five miles to reach the beach. Luckily, it was dry when we went, so the dirt road was in good shape.

: : On the way to Polihale : :

The Na Pali mountains are a magnificent backdrop for this colossal beach. Can you see the pickup trucks on the sand?

The sheer size of everything at Polihale--beach, mountains, waves--is staggering.

And talk about HOT! We'd heard it's 3-5 degrees hotter on the west side of the island, which translates into burning the soles off your feet when running from your towel to the water!

That's Mike on the far left. I do not know how I managed to take a picture just as a wave struck him full-on, but I did and it cracks me up. The waves at Polihale are wicked powerful. I was swept off my feet and tumbled around several times when standing in less-than-waist-deep water. Really, really powerful surf! I managed not to lose my bathing suit, but it was close a couple times, and a lady nearby wasn't as lucky as me!

On our way back home, I asked Mike to pull over so I could take a photo of this building, the United States Post Office of Makaweli. Isn't it the cutest post office you've ever seen?

Earlier in the week, we'd gone to the grounds of the St. Regis Princeville and tried to catch the sunset. It was overcast, though, and a very unsatisfying sort of sunset. Mike was determined to get me to a beautiful sunset tonight, and we raced homeward to get to the St. Regis and literally run for the bluff!

That's Mike, high-tailing it toward the sunset.

Ahhhhhh. Now this is what I'm talking about!

: : Hanalei Bay : :

Isn't God amazing? Not only did I get to see a beautiful sunset, there "just happened" to be a sailboat leaving the bay!

Thank you, Mr. Mike, for sharing such a beautiful sunset with me.

{xoxoxo}{forever}

{ Kaua'i ~ Part VII: Hanakapi'ai Falls Trail }

2011-08-31T07:13:00.000-07:00

The Kalalau Trail is an 11-mile hike into the Na Pali coast. Mike and I wanted to do one big, outdoor adventure on our trip, and while backpacking into Kalalau wasn't an option, the first part of the trail is a great day trip to Hanakapi'ai Falls. The trail begins literally where the highway ends on the north shore of the island. After a two-mile hike along sheer cliffs dropping hundreds of feet down to the ocean, you reach a stream crossing and Hanakapi'ai Beach, one of the deadliest beaches in the Hawaiian Islands. It's gorgeous, in spite of the fact that many people have drowned there. To reach Hanakapi'ai Falls, instead of following the Kalalau Trail further along the coast, you follow another trail two miles inland, up the stream to the waterfall. Round-trip, it's an eight-mile hike, and the sign at the trailhead warns that it takes about eight hours. Mike and I were skeptical. "We're young! We're...not terribly athletic. But it won't take us eight hours!"

Here is the trailhead, at Ke'e Beach.

The first two miles to the beach you're going through a mixture of dense jungle undergrowth and exposed trail on the cliff edge, with breathtaking views of the coast. The trail may not look very well-maintained, but compared to the last two miles between the beach and the waterfall, this is a piece of cake. Like a flat sidewalk with ambience and a lemonade stand every block or two. Just sayin' we had no idea what we were in for!

I'd done the hike to the beach when I visited Kauai before, so I knew that the red dirt trail would pretty much ruin our shoes. We both threw away our shoes afterward, they were so trashed.

We're almost to the beach!

Hanakapi'ai Beach is really lovely. We took a break, ate some Clif bars, and explored the sea caves on the beach. We'd brought my phone just so we could tell the time {there's obviously no cell phone reception}, but time seemed irrelevant once we were on our way. We were going to the waterfall; it didn't really matter how long it took us. Since we started around 9am and it wasn't blazing hot, we weren't worried.

: : Looking out from one of the caves : :

Then it was time to head upstream to the waterfall.

We passed several huge bamboo groves. I had no idea how massive individual bamboo shoots can grow to be!

: :Lots of stream crossings : :

The trail quickly deteriorated and showed us just how good we'd had it for the first two miles. In many places, the trail was thick, deep, slimy, snot-like red clay/mud/water. There were roots, rocks, and branches everywhere--you literally had to think about where you were going to put your foot down for every single step.

It. Was. Hard.

Finally, we glimpsed this and thought, "We're almost there!"

Riiiiiiiight.

Now we're almost there!

The waterfall is 300 feet tall, plunging into a deep pool. We were high enough in the valley now that it was chilly, and though Mike decided to brave the cold water and swim, I was shivering and contented myself with taking photos.

It's hard to appreciate how huge the cliff face is from these photos. You feel like you're hemmed in by mammoth rock walls on every side except downstream, toward the ocean.

There was a trail up one side of the valley to a sort of ledge in the rock face. It offered a cool perspective of the valley below.

We wolfed down a couple more Clif bars, relaxed for a bit, and then headed back down the trail.

It was at this point that I decided I wanted a sherpa to carry me back to our car. The extremely rugged terrain--climbing up and around boulders, limbs, even entire trees while navigating an extremely narrow trail with poor footing and clay-caked shoes--was using every muscle in my body in ways they'd never been engaged before. We were both pretty tired, but we were only at the halfway point.

Thankfully, the worst terrain was the first two miles we had to cover on our way back. The last two miles from the beach to the car were a cinch compared to the jungle trail--but of course, it was now early afternoon, the cloud cover had burned off, and it was blazing hot. This was a new kind of miserable.

Praise the Lord, I see the beach at the trailhead!!!

Here we are, back at the trailhead, significantly worse for wear, but so glad we had done it! We didn't look at the time till we got back to the car--it was 3:30. Six and a half hours! A lot longer than I thought we'd been gone, but an hour and a half less than the time suggested in the guidebooks. As physically exhausting as it was, that day is one of our favorite memories. And we certainly slept well that night!

{ Slip 'n' Slide }

2011-08-29T06:58:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, newlywed friends of ours had a housewarming party {remember Luke and Joanna?}. And this was no ordinary housewarming party: Besides the best chicken kabobs, bratwurst, and chicken hot wings fresh off their new grill, there was a firepit and a slip'n'slide. Yes, you read that right--a whole slew of self-respecting, supposedly grown-up people spent the afternoon playing on a slip'n'slide. It was awesome. Perhaps that's because I don't remember if I ever went on one as a kid? Or because we had to "lube ourselves up" with dish soap prior to hurling our bodies down the plastic runway? I'm not sure.

You might want to get out your sunglasses for the next few pictures. We Pacific Northwesterners are painfully white-skinned. Seriously, in bright sunlight you have to squint.

I love this sequence of Mike + Michael sliding down together!

Joanna, the very soapy lady of the house, ensuring that the track stays well-watered.

At one point, Michael {not my husband, the other Michael} stood at the end of the track and the guys attempted to go through his legs.

Then they decided to all go down as fast as they could--a sort of never-ending relay.

It was hilarious.

I tried twice to upload a video of the guys' relay, but blogger hates me and rejected it both times. Arrrrrgh! And in spite of how sore we all are today, and the strange bruises/grass burns/various injuries we sustained, it all just goes to prove....you're never too old for a slip'n'slide.

P.S. And I haven't even mentioned the absolutely divinely delicious spread that invited me to eat myself to oblivion! Joanna is a culinary genius: I'd never even heard of watermelon feta salad with balsamic vinegar, but that did not stop me from eating two large platefuls of it. And I had four helpings of the peach-mango-nectarine salsa, then just stood in front of the bowl and finished off two bags of chips {they were nearly empty already} by dipping them into the salsa. Gluttony, I tell you. But such delicious gluttony it was!

{ Kaua'i, Part VI ~ Queen's Bath + Odds 'n' Ends }

2011-08-28T07:06:00.000-07:00

There is a beautiful spot on Kauai's north shore called the Queen's Bath. It's a large lava rock pool, fed by the ocean, accessible only by trekking down to the lava-rimmed coast and then walking what seems an interminable distance along the lava, seeing nothing that looks remotely pool-like but lots of large waves crashing onto the rocks, and wondering if this is a ploy to rid the island of naive tourists.

And then you see this.

It's deep, and calm, and roomy. An occasional large wave will come high enough to fill a small pool that in turn overflows into the Queen's Bath.

It's beautiful, in an otherworldly and wholly unexpected kind of way.

You can see some dry rocks at the upper end of the pool in the right-hand corner of the photo above. This turns into a narrower channel, with more shallow pools {below}.

Mike and I explored far beyond the Queen's Bath and found all sorts of beautiful pools. I can't think of a better word to describe them than "otherworldly." To see huge waves crashing agains the lava outcropping a few yards to one side, and all around you these deep, calm pools with the most exquisite blue-green water and delicately colored rocks, was a sensory juxtaposition that I relished.

That one made me want to be a mermaid so I could explore the cavern!

Some pools were directly connected to the ocean and the depth of the water within changed by several feet when a wave came in.

See Mike on the edge of the pool above? I'm using him for scale. These pools are so lovely--why can't I be a mermaid and live here?

The Queen's Bath was a fun, unusual expedition: Not the greatest swimming, but plenty of geological/oceanic eye candy and a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Later that day we ventured to the Wailua River. I had to include this picture because it's so incredibly green.

Here are some sunrise-from-the-lanai shots.

This enormous fountain heralds the entrance to Princeville, which isn't exactly a town, but I don't know what else to call it. {Wait: according to Wikipedia, it's a "census-designated place (CDP)." Whatever that means.} I certainly felt fancy, driving by this fountain to get to our condo. It's hard to tell from the photo, but you could fit quite a few people into one of those seashells!

One night we ate dinner in Hanalei and then posed for pictures by the Hanalei River.

This is Mike being sexy. Like you couldn't tell!

This is me being...sunburned. I'm not nearly as creative in my posing choices as my husband.

Coming up next: The hike to end all hikes!

{ Kaua'i ~ Part V: Our Anniversary }

2011-08-26T06:34:00.000-07:00

July 18, 2009 was the day we got married.

How can it be two years already? It may be a cliche, but it's true: It seems like yesterday, and yet at the same time it seems like we've been together forever. I love you, Michael.

For our anniversary, Mike secretly made dinner reservations at The Beach House in Poipu. Over the past few years, I've seen this restaurant listed numerous times as one of the most romantic in the country, so I was delighted when I realized that's where we were going!

The restaurant is situated on a little promontory, so you have ocean views from every table. It's very beautiful and romantic--and that's before the sunset!

Hands down, the best mai tais we had!

I'm a little bit of a foodie, so I took photos of everything we ate. {Everything was delicious and worth every penny. We were not disappointed at all!} This is the crab cake appetizer.

As the sun begins to set, diners get up and go to the lawn outside to have their photos taken. We followed suit.

~two years~

For the life of me, I can't remember specifically what either of us ordered, but we both had fish.

I think this photo should be titled "Mike after Mai Tai."

Towards the end of our meal, our server asked us if we were celebrating an anniversary. Shortly after, he reappeared with a complimentary dessert and a "Happy Anniversary" card signed by the staff.

Afterward, we sat on a bench outside the restaurant and watched the stars and the surf. It was a perfect evening. And yet, in spite of how lovely every moment was, my favorite part was the conversations Mike and I had throughout the evening. There have been parts of this year that were really rough on our marriage--scary rough. We're in a much better place now, but that is only by Jesus' grace. He is the foundation of our relationship. His grace is every bit as evident in our lives today as it was 2+ years ago when we were starry-eyed lovers peeking into the beginning of our life together. To reflect together on how the Lord has led us, and looking forward together to the future...I can't imagine a better way to celebrate an anniversary!

{ Kaua'i, Part IV ~ Some Days }

2011-08-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

When you're on vacation, some days you just want to laze around.

Maybe you want to get up early and watch the sunrise from your lanai.

Maybe you want to eat a leisurely breakfast, then spend an hour or two staring at the ever-changing beauty of the reef below.

Maybe after that, you're tired enough for a nap....so you take one.

Maybe you decide to find Secret Beach, since it's very close, and soak up some rays on the golden sand while listening to the pounding surf.

Maybe you'll marvel at the beauty of the exotic trees lining the path back up to your car.

Maybe you'll skedaddle to the grounds of the St. Regis Princeville to watch the sun set over Hanalei Bay and those pretty mountains whose names you don't know.

When you're on vacation, some days, that's all you need to do.

{ Potato-Leek Pizza }

2011-08-23T19:50:00.000-07:00

Last night I made The Pioneer Woman's potato-leek pizza.

Let me tell you, it is uh-mazing.

Unfortunately for those of you who do not yet own her cookbook, the recipe isn't on her website. And though I know that with my itsy bitsy blog I can't begin to put a dent in P-Dub's empire, I feel kinda....wrong...about posting a recipe of hers that she has chosen not to post online. So no luck Chuck, you're gonna have to buy the cookbook if you want to recreate this dreamy bit of gastrointestinal bliss for yourself.

Please forgive the dreadful lack of natural light in this photo. I make no claims to photographic heights of splendor: I live in a condominium with north-facing windows, shrouded by trees, in the Pacific Northwest, where it has rained approximately 340 days so far this year. {Don't argue with me. It has rained a lot.} And in spite of new kitchen lights that literally make a world of difference for they are no longer fluorescent, praise the Lord!, it is still dang difficult to take good pictures of food. But let me assure you, your tastebuds careth not what sort of light ye be in when once they taste this pizza.

Go make pizza. Put potatoes on it. You'll be glad you did.

{ We interrupt your regularly scheduled posting to bring you...La Push }

2011-08-22T19:01:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, Mike and I went camping with a group of friends from church. Mike's sister Amaryah also came, which was great fun! And this was no ordinary camping trip: We camped on the beach at La Push, on the Washington peninsula. That may not sound very impressive--but La Push is the westernmost zip code in the lower 48 states! Betcha didn't know that. I didn't either till about 5 seconds ago.

Anyhow, in order to camp on the beach, one must first hike 0.75 miles on a trail through the woods to the beach, climb over massive driftwood logs, and then walk about a half mile down the beach to the spot where our friends set up camp. Did I mention that you have to ride a ferry over to the peninsula and then it's a 3+ hour drive to La Push after you get off the ferry? And that we weren't able to leave till after work on Friday evening? And that the wait for a ferry on a Friday night is horrendous? And that none of us in our car {Mike, Amaryah, me, and Amaryah's friend Tojo} had been to La Push before? And that none of us had backpacking-type camping equipment? And that it was 11:45 pm before we reached the parking lot at the trail head? And that once we located the trail, lugged all our stuff {including a cooler full of refrigerated goods, ice, and beer} to the beach, and climbed over the driftwood, we couldn't remember whether we were supposed to go up the beach {to the right} or down the beach {to the left}? And that once we found our friends' campsite {praise God!!}, it was approximately 2am?

In spite of the exhaustion and drama of our wee-hours-arrival, I enjoyed this trip so much! Last summer, Mike and I made a "bucket list" of eight things we wanted to do during the summer of 2010. "A weekend camping on the Washington coast" was one of the items we didn't get to last year, so I was really excited to be able to go with a group of friends and my SIL.

One word for La Push: Gorgeous. Another word for La Push: Balmy. There was very little wind {very surprising}, and it was warm enough for just jeans and a t-shirt most of the time. I've been to the Oregon coast a few times, and buffeting winds are a primary memory. And while La Push looks remarkably similar to Cannon Beach and Twin Rocks in Oregon, it was so calm. Enough with the rambling...let's get to the photos!

A sunflower sea star, which I had never even heard of before! {Mike's foot included for size reference. You're welcome.}

Mike inside the cave seen in the photo prior to this one.

And the photo below is looking out the mouth of the same cave.

Mark, our friend and real-life neighbor, made various interpretive structures with assorted sticks. This is "the line," with individual sticks representing how far over "the line" different people had gone in our conversation that afternoon. {I think this was shortly before I told my Little Mermaid joke: Why does Ariel wear seashells?.......Because D shells are too big, and B shells are too small!}

Impressive Batman logo in the sand....no idea who made it!

On Saturday evening, while Mike, Tojo, and another guy made a "run" up to the car for more supplies--it's cruel to call it a "run," really, since it takes at least an hour and you kind of want to die after schlepping stuff through the woods and over the beach--some of us went out to the two largest/closest rocky islands you've seen in the photos above. When the tide is out, you can walk most of the way out to them on solid sand, though we ended up having to wade through knee-deep icy water in one area.

The rocks were covered with starfish and sea anemones--literally hundreds of starfish everywhere!

Wading back across to the beach--that water was colder than you can imagine! I only LOOK calm!

I'm not sure what kind of a pose Nathan asked us to assume before snapping this photo, but I like the results. That's Amaryah on the far left, me on the far right, assorted friends--some old, some new--in between.

Here you can see part of our awesome two-sided driftwood shelter. Apparently the first guys in our group to reach the beach, took it over when the previous group of campers left, then added to it. There was a firepit in the middle, a shelf for a kitchen of sorts, and an old float from a boat hung from the highest beam. It was pretty sweet.

We had a really big bonfire that night. Spencer is in this photo for scale. Spencer is very tall.

Before we left on Sunday morning, we ate, burned, or gave away as much food as possible to lighten our load. Someone rescued the last two bananas I threw in the fire, and used them as decoration. Here Mike is helping Mari lift a hot pot off the fire using sticks in lieu of hot pads. That's Amaryah between them. Don't you love the look on Mike's face?!

This, my friends, is how NOT to pack. 'Nuff said.

One last look at our sweet fort.

I won't bore you with details of our eight-hour--yes, eight-hour--journey back home. Suffice it to say that if you're trying to get from the Peninsula back to the Seattle side on a Sunday afternoon and decide to drive around rather than wait in line for the ferry for at least two hours, make sure you know which highway will get you home the fastest. Just sayin'. And you shouldn't always believe what map apps on smartphones tell you. {That's part of the reason I refuse to get a smartphone. Sometimes they are just plain evil!!}

{ One of those days }

2011-08-21T21:19:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, an hour on the beach lifts a weight you didn't even realize was crushingly heavy.

I've been in a funk all day. No particular reason, just lots of little things that really shouldn't bother me. But I let myself stew in sin juices for hours. I made it very clear to Mike that I wasn't happy. I was--gasp!--a bitch.

I let the Lord have it. I didn't want to....I wanted to clutch it close, keep it all to myself. But I went to the beach and puked all my mental, emotional, spiritual garbage at His feet via journal. And He was there. Not condoning my self-inflicted misery, but forgiving, extending grace, and promising to make something beautiful even of a day I ruined.

I love Him. And I need Mike to hurry up and get home so I can apologize.

{ Kaua'i ~ Part III: Kauai Coffee Co. and Waimea Canyon }

2011-08-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

Most mornings we made a huge breakfast: Eggs, bacon or sausage, pancakes or cinnamon rolls, fresh fruit, coffee, and Tequila sunrises. We'd eat breakfast on the lanai and enjoy the view, the salty air, and the sound of waves crashing on the reef.

Once we recovered sufficiently from our food comas, we'd set out on the day's adventures.

On this particular day, we explored the southwest portion of the island, beginning with the Kauai Coffee Company.

Besides a gift shop, there is a teeny tiny museum, coffee tasting stations, and a short self-guided walking tour through part of the coffee plantation.

I'm not a coffee snob, so I left the tasting to Mike. Don't you love these vintage coffee tins?

Mike could barely restrain himself when he saw green coffee beans.

We stopped for lunch at the Shrimp Station in Waimea. I had spicy Thai chili shrimp.

And Mike had coconut shrimp. Sadly, neither dish was nearly as good as the little shrimp shack we found on Oahu's north shore on our honeymoon. Please, if anyone goes there, get me a couple orders of the spicy shrimp and steak to go?

From Waimea town, we began the drive up Waimea Canyon. It was so clear, we could easily see Niihau, the "forbidden island" 17 miles from Kauai, on the horizon.

Just a taste of the beauty to come...

...and just a taste of how cheesy I can be.

Kauai is well-known for having red clay that stains EVERYTHING. As in, there is a Red Dirt Shirt company that uses the bright red stuff to dye clothing. We hopped out of the car and explored one particularly accessible area on our way to the top of Waimea Canyon.

There are several lookouts offering gorgeous vistas of the canyon. It does look remarkably similar to the Grand Canyon, albeit with more greenery. If you too have heard that Mark Twain called Waimea Canyon "the Grand Canyon of the Pacific," we've both been snookered, my friend. Not only did Mark Twain not say that, he never even set foot on Kauai when he visited the Hawaiian Islands!

At the very top of the canyon, you find the Kalalau Lookout, which overlooks part of the Na Pali coast. It was too cool--we'd seen the Kalalau Valley by boat the day before, and now we were looking at it from the top down toward the ocean! You don't really appreciate how small Kauai is {about 25 miles by 33 miles at its largest} 'til you're at the lookout and see ocean {the southern coast} to the right....and more ocean {the northern coast} to your left. Spectacular.

The Kalalau Valley is the largest valley in the Na Pali range, and was inhabited until the early 1900's.

The photo below was taken from exactly the same spot as the above shots, I just turned 90 degrees to my right. This is a glimpse of Mt. Waialeale, one of the wettest spots on earth with an average rainfall of more than 452 inches per year.

This was another of my favorite moments on our vacation: Being able see all this incredible beauty, and sharing the experience with my husband.

Stay tuned....there are lots more photos to come!

{ Kaua'i ~ Part II: Na Pali Coast }

2011-08-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

Our big "splurge" on this trip was a 4+ hour boat trip along the Na Pali coast. I'd glimpsed the Na Pali coast a few years ago when a girlfriend and I visited Kauai, and I was thirsty for more. It was the one thing I really really wanted to do during our trip, whether by boat or by helicopter. See, this 15-mile stretch of coastline only accessible by water or air {unless you take a couple days to hike in}, due to the fact that it's made up of sheer cliffs dropping straight into the ocean. Mike chose a boat tour over a helicopter ride: "If the boat malfunctions, we're just stuck on the ocean. It's just a matter of time till someone comes to help us. If a helicopter malfunctions, you die." 'Nuff said.

We arrived at the beach before 7am. Here is our catamaran, the Sea Breeze, pushing off from Anini Beach. {By the way, we highly recommend Na Pali Sea Breeze Tours. Captain Bob is knowledgeable, funny, and loves the island.}

The colors in the early morning light were so soft and pastel-like. I was in love.

The coast sparkled jewellike in the morning sun, fluffy white clouds over lush green jungle, translucent breath of rainbow between the two. We saw half a dozen rainbows that morning.

Sea caves and a bit of sandy beach

Vertical cliff extending hundreds of feet above the catamaran

Approaching a waterfall...

...and looking back at the same waterfall.

We saw so many sea caves. This one is big enough for the catamaran to enter completely and turn around.

Looking back to the mouth of the cave

A partially enclosed sea cave and waterfall.

I hope Mike didn't get sick of me saying, "Babe, look!" and "This is so beautiful!" and "This is just unreal!" Because I made those three statements pretty much nonstop for the entire 4+ hours. I don't have words to describe how utter, otherworldly beauty of this place.

I could not get over how beautiful the water is: how many infinitely varying shades of green and blue, turquoise and jade exist all at once. Watching the ocean is the ultimate eye candy.

Do you see the tents nestled in the foliage just above the beach? Do you see how tiny they are? Does that give you an idea of how immense this landscape is?!

For comparison purposes: The trees on the sand dune at the bottom of the photo are fully grown trees--thirty, forty feet tall. This sand dune is very large. This cliff face is gargantuan.

If you've seen Six Days, Seven Nights with Harrison Ford and Anne Heche, this arch should look very familiar.

We traveled about 17 miles down the coast, traversing all but the last 1-2 miles of the Na Pali coastline, then stopped at a beach with a reef and everyone got to snorkel for 45 minutes. Putting my face underwater and trying to breath does not compute for me--I get claustrophobic, so I should say that everyone except me and two other non-snorkelers got in the water. Then we had lunch, including some of the most delicious pineapple I've ever tasted, and headed back.

Mike was like a puppy dog with his face out the window!

This is the condo community we stayed at, seen from the catamaran. Amazing view, eh?

It was an amazing morning. Definitely one of my favorite days from the entire trip. I felt like a glutton, surrounded by so much beauty. It was indescribable.

{ Comparisons and a Sumtumn Wreath }

2011-08-16T18:09:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. It's been a really long time. I get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of vacation photos to wade through, then life gets busy, then we go camping, then I have more photos to wade through--ack! I'm slowly learning that there is no such thing as a "busy season." It's a busy life, period. Occasional hiatuses {hiati?} from blogging are an inevitable part of our busy lifestyle. I want accept these unplanned "breaks" from blogging with joy--isn't it awesome that the people and relationships in my life are more important than the internet?--rather than feeling guilty for "neglecting" my blog. Which is not to say that relationships via online channels are less valid because they aren't always face-to-face...I think you know what I mean. Emily at Jones Design Company wrote a post yesterday that totally resonated with me. If you haven't already, please read it here. She expresses so poignantly one of the double-edged swords of the blog world: feeling bad when you compare yourself to other women as expressed on their blogs. I encourage you to read her post in its entirety, but these paragraphs especially stood out to me:

"It is a constant struggle for me to be able to look at other’s successes [on their blogs] and be genuinely happy for them without that little nudge of insecurity to creep in. And on the other side, it is a challenge for me to look at my own successes and not feel like I am somehow better than another.

To be in that place where I am fully confident in who God made me to be and have no need to compare myself is where I am headed, but I am not yet there."

source

Amen! All that to say that the guilt I feel when I think, "I don't blog often enough!" is based purely on comparison with how frequently other bloggers post, not because the Lord told me to blog X number of times per week and I'm not.

A whole slew of posts about Kauai are coming up in the next few days--making time to blog is my treat for myself after spending all evening yesterday doing laundry from our most recent camping trip. I'm finishing up the last load as we speak--honestly, I think it's number ten--even our blankets and pillows were saturated with campfire smoke! But tonight I want to share our front door wreath with you. Almost as soon as we returned from Kauai, I was overcome with an almost physical urge to make a wreath. A sumtumn wreath. It's not quite autumn; goodness knows we've barely even tasted summer weather in the Pacific Northwest. But I wanted--I practically needed--to make an autumn-ish wreath for our front door. An end-of-summer wreath. A sumtumn wreath.

Jones Design Company tutorials to the rescue. {Honestly, this post is not a plug for JDC. Emily has no idea who I am. I just happen to love her tutorials.} I followed her easy directions for the ruffle wreath, added a few satin flowers, and voila! A sumtumn wreath!

Now I'm off to wade through vacation photos and share the glories of Kauai with you all over the next few days!

{ Kaua'i 2011 ~ Part I }

2011-08-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh, blogger! There you are! So nice to see you again.

It's been more than two weeks since we returned from our third honeymoon.

{First honeymoon = Oahu, July 2009.

Second honeymoon = Lopez Island, July 2010.

Third honeymoon = Kauai, July 2011.}

I am suffering from a severe case of "blog-dread," a dire condition brought on by a variety of circumstances. In my case, it's a compound situation: so many wonderful memories I want to share; 1,064 photos to choose from.....once they are edited {and this is progress, folks! I took 1,425 photos on the trip and have already weeded out almost four hundred duds!}; and just generally feeling overwhelmed by how lovely our time in Hawaii was, and the knowledge that whatever I blog about it will fall far short of the reality of how altogether good this vacation was. I think the only way to get oneself out of blog-dread is by actually blogging, so here goes!

We booked our condo in Princeville {Kauai's north coast} through Kauai Vacation Rentals. I took this photo from our lanai {balcony}--can you believe the view?! We were perched on a bluff looking over the ocean, and for someone who has a continual love affair with the colors of the sea, I had no idea how mesmerizing a coral reef in shallow water can be. It was so gorgeous. To be able to glance out the window and see those colors--it was unreal!

Here's a better view of the reef, again taken from our lanai. The units are designed in such a way that no matter what unit you are in, you cannot see any other units. Pretty cool.

This is Kilauea Lighthouse, the northernmost point in the Hawaiian Islands. It was a 15-minute drive from our condo--you can barely see it in the first photo in this post, between the palm trees.

I love cemeteries. I know this seems very strange and morbid to many people, but I grew up knowing a cemetery as a happy, peaceful place full of memories and beauty. I like to explore cemeteries and read epitaphs, imaging what life was like for the people memorialized there. {I think this might be a peculiarly homeschool-girl tendency, because the only other people I know who also like cemeteries are homeschooled girls like myself.} So when we drove by this darling Episcopal church in Kilauea, built entirely of stone, with stunning stained glass windows, and surrounded by a cemetery, we had to stop.

Isn't the tombstone below amazing? From India to Kauai, a physician; and when he died, he was only thirty years old. I love what the stone says at the bottom: "I know that my Redeemer liveth." That verse was carved into many of the headstones in this cemetery. What clear-eyed faith in Jesus' life and eternity with Him, to carve that on a tombstone!

From our condo complex, there is a 10-minute trail to a secluded little beach {below}. I use the word "trail" lightly, since from where Mike is standing, you pretty much clutch whatever hand- and foot-holds you can find on a lava-rock face to get from where he's standing to the beach. Once you are there, it's SO secluded and lush, with verdant trees arching over a good portion of the sandy beach, offering plenty of shade, and the coral reef coming in quite close to the shore.

The view from our spot on the beach.

More to come--much, much more!

{ DIY Bonanza! }

2011-07-23T15:07:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I've become a big fan of interior decorating the last year or two...especially the do-it-yourself variety. Fueled partly by necessity {budget}, partly by desire {I enjoy being craft-y and making pretty things}, and partly by curiosity {how on earth did she make a starburst mirror out of cereal boxes?!}, I regularly prowl the interwebs for inspiration.

A few weeks ago I hit a veritable goldmine. A treasure trove, if you will. Vast new horizons of DIY gorgeousness opened up before me when I found Home Stories A to Z: How to Decorate {For the DIY'er} Series. It's a 30-day series of posts on how to decorate beautifully and on the cheap, by 30 different ladies who do it well. Really, really well. You don't want to miss this!

From old friends like the Nester {I feel like I know her, I've probably read most of her site over the past year}, to House of Smiths and Centsational Girl {never heard of them before!}, my head is spinning with ideas and inspiration. Go ahead. You know you want to.

Check out the How to Decorate {For the DIY'er} Series--on the double!

{ Two Years }

2011-07-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

Two years ago...

a boy and a girl got married.

Here, at the Monte Cristo Hotel.

~ praying just before the ceremony ~

She danced with her daddy,

He danced with his mama,

and together they danced to a Sinatra/Big & Rich medley that involved a cowboy hat and the first half of "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy."

There was much love, much laughter, and much joy.

That wasn't the end...it was only the beginning.

I love you forever, Mike...thank you for making me your wife.

Happy Two Years!

XO,

Nikki

{ World Traveler }

2011-07-14T19:47:00.000-07:00

I've posted this before, but it so aptly expresses many questions and emotions I've experienced, and it's about marriage, and we're currently in Kauai celebrating two years of marriage....so here you go again!

I love you so, Mr. Michael. I'm so glad I get to travel the world with you...travel your world with you.

xoxo always,

Mrs. Mike

{ LuJo's Wedding }

2011-07-11T21:06:00.000-07:00

Luke and Joanna, dear friends of ours, got married yesterday. It was a gorgeous day for an outdoor wedding, and their venue was stunning. Not to mention that I happen to have the hots for Groomsman #7, pictured below.

Yup. He's the bee's knees.

This wedding was so joyful, playful, full of Jesus, and so perfectly Luke-and-Joanna. It was also a lot of fun. The favors were brightly-colored shutter sunglasses {but in different shapes--hearts, stars, etc.} and a variety of different colors and shapes of mustaches and lips on sticks, all props for a photobooth. Throughout the evening, everyone had a lot of fun with the sunglasses and mustaches!

Travis and Krissy, who host our community group.

Friends Lizett and Renee.

The happy couple--Luke and Joanna.

Cupcakes instead of a cake! The little flags in their cupcakes are shaped like the states they are from: Arizona for Joanna, North Carolina for Luke.

I cannot even begin to explain to you the awesomeness of the dancing. I can't wait to see the professional photos...these folks love to dance! It truly did turn into a dance party that lasted 'til the bride and groom drove away!

Instead of a bouquet toss, there was a pinata for all the single ladies.

The house and part of the grounds near midnight, as we were cleaning up.

So the hubs and I are heading to Kauai on Wednesday, for 11 days of fun in the sun. We won't have internet access, but I've scheduled some posts while we're gone because I just had so much to say that I couldn't wait 'til we get back...had to get it out! ;-) Enjoy your summer--I'll be back in a couple weeks!

{ Dancing in the Mine Fields }

2011-07-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

I can't watch this video without crying. Not just "tearing up," but big fat tears rolling down my cheeks and a lump in my throat. It's true: the beauty, the hardship, the joy, the sanctification...it's all worth it. Marriage is harder than we dreamed, but that's what the promise is for.

Today our friends Luke and Joanna are getting married. Mike is a groomsman, and we're looking forward to lots of joy as we celebrate the beginning of their marriage. In eight days, Mike and I will celebrate two years of dancing in the minefields. This song is for all of us.

{ Living Room }

2011-07-07T15:42:00.000-07:00

Welcome to our home!

Like the dining room, the walls are Benjamin Moore's Revere Pewter.

I love vintage glass bottles. This Karo syrup jar was 25 cents at a yard sale.

Please accept my apologies for the Mothership {aka the blinding torchiere}. What little natural light we get is pitifully inadequate for photography.

More antique glass...I found the half-gallon jug and the pale green jar in an old outbuilding at my parents' farm.

I also convinced my parents to let me have this enormous crock. They were happy to see it go; it has a huge crack all the way up the back that renders it useless for storage or as a planter. And don't you love that quilt?! It was a gift when I graduated from college. I chose the pattern and color scheme, my mom paid for the fabric, and my aunt, grandma, and some other ladies in the community made it. One of my favorite possessions. It is gorgeous.

~ jars of dried roses from the many bouquets Mike has given me ~

~ this African violet reminds me of my Grandma Violet ~

Oh, this mirror makes me so happy! I looked for a big mirror for over a year. At this size, they cost several hundred dollars, even at "cheap" places like Lowe's or Home Depot. I wasn't willing to pay that--let alone the fact that finding one with a frame I liked was nearly impossible. {There seems to be a conspiracy wherein if the mirror is big enough for the space and the frame isn't ugly, the price is automatically $500 or above.} I found this mirror at Value Village for $19.99. At first I thought I might have to paint the frame, but I so far I like it as it is. What do you think?

My new obsession: pillow covers from Etsy. Such an easy way to transform the look of a room using pillows you already own. For the lumbar pillows {which I didn't have}, I found 100% down pillow inserts for under $8 at Tuesday Morning.

My favorite comment regarding our newly-painted rooms came from Mike, just a day or two after I'd gotten everything put back in its place: "It looks so much nicer in here now, babe. It's relaxing to come home now, instead of, like, 'AHHHHHHH, green!'" Even if I'd loved the previous color, that alone makes all the time, sore muscles, and expense worthwhile.

{ Independence Day }

2011-07-05T21:51:00.000-07:00

~ Howarth Park in Everett with my sweetie--second time I've been there and his first ~

~ jammin' to the live music before the fireworks display in Edmonds ~

~ my first pair of skinny jeans ~

~ friends ~

note: all Edmonds pics {except the one of Mike} taken by sweet friend Megan and Big Girl Camera :-)

{ Change }

2011-07-04T12:11:00.000-07:00

I've realized, the past few weeks, that I have exactly two responses to proposed changes in my life. If I'm unsure of the transition {or afraid, or feel it will affect me negatively, etc.}, my responses are entirely negative. On the other hand, if it's a change that I want, that was my idea, or that looks like it will benefit me, I'll try to move heaven and earth to bring it about.

All this is based purely on my perspective. My perspective, which is so very limited. So self-serving, comfort-seeking, sinful.

Life is not static. It is fraught with transitions, turnover, the new and the different and the unknown. Until I was confronted with changes--significant, way out of my control ones--again and again and again over the past few months, I gave little thought to how pervasive change is. I'm a creature of habit, happiest and most comfortable when I'm cozy in my rut. In itself, I don't think this particular bent of personality is wrong; that's the way Jesus created me, and He calls me His beloved child. But it can be taken too far. I am realizing that when things are in flux, I cling to sameness, rather than Jesus, for security. So when the road veers unexpectedly and I have to face something I didn't want or anticipate, I gripe and whine and give full reign to selfish responses. And when the road veers unexpectedly but I like it, I again give full reign to selfish responses....but this time they look more palatable because they're clothed in happy garb.

This sucks.

I want my responses to come from Jesus, from Him living in my heart and changing and transforming me every day, so that I see the world through His eyes, not mine. I don't know what exactly has prompted this shift, but I see now, in a way that I never have before, that change is life. To stop moving is to die. To avoid it, run away from it, fight it; to grumble and moan and be miserable about it--that becomes my life, because life is change. Life is one new thing right after another: Growth, metamorphosis, progress, breaking, healing. This is at once the glory and the heartbreak of life on earth.

via

And I have fought it tooth and nail for 28 years. Lord, I am sorry.

The juxtaposition is ironic. At work, I've dreaded the move to a new hospital tower for months. It has brought all kinds of changes that have made work harder, mainly because of increased time to get places {that tower is HUGE}, increased patient volumes, and learning to navigate a new building. What has jarred me, over and over in the weeks since the move, are the good things that have come about: bigger rooms mean it's easier to get our machines in and out. There are more chairs and pillows and linen carts, and they're all vastly easier to find. Breathtaking vistas from huge windows on every floor. Some things are harder, true, but I've been shocked time and again by the unexpected good. And I wonder: How many other good things have I missed because I expected only bad?

On the other hand, I'm so impatient for the Lord to orchestrate change that I want. For us to be able to transition to a single-income household. For Mike to be able to work reasonable hours and have down time. I don't consider that they might bring with them difficult or uncomfortable corollaries. Mike pointed this out last week as we were discussing what needs to happen before I can "retire" from my job. "I'm afraid that you're going to stop working, realize that being a stay-at-home wife doesn't solve all your problems, and then feel as stuck here as you do right now at work," he said. Though we're both confident that this is the direction the Lord is leading us, Mike's observation is very sobering and convicting. I know he's right. I think that if XYZ will just happen, then I'll be happy.

What if happiness isn't dependent on circumstances, but on my relationship with Jesus?

What if I choose to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" {1 Thess. 5:18}?

What if I choose to "rejoice in the Lord always" {Phil. 4:4}, rather than rejoicing when I get my way?

If I make these choices, "change" no longer dictates my emotions and outlook, because my identity is in Christ and I choose to rejoice in the Lord always and give thanks in all circumstances, through the power of the Holy Spirit. Regardless of whether or not this bend in the road is giving me warm fuzzies. This is what I'm chewing on today. This is my prayer.

{ Dining Room }

2011-07-02T12:31:00.000-07:00

I decided to paint the kitchen and re-paint the dining and living rooms over Memorial Day weekend. I cleared my schedule and mentally prepared myself for three.grueling.days. {I knew Mike had to work Saturday and Monday, and I felt like this was kind of my responsibility...after all, I'm the one who chose the bright Easter green color that we both despise!} After two days of almost nonstop painting, Mike very graciously put aside his Monday commitments and helped me finish the living and dining rooms. Thank you, babe! With 25-ish-foot cathedral ceiling, I was beginning to feel like I was going to be painting walls forever!!

The color is Revere Pewter by Benjamin Moore.

Can I tell you a secret? We literally had camping furniture for the first five months of our marriage. We borrowed a small oval table from Mike's parents. We had two camping chairs {any idea how low to the ground camping chairs are?} that were given to us as a wedding gift. They totally did not fit at that table, but that's where we ate from July 'til December. I'm so happy we took the opportunity to buy this solid oak table, six chairs, and sideboard {used for less than one week} for $300.

But....

It's kinda too matchy-matchy for me. I had no decorating taste whatsoever at that point. I was just desperate for a real table and chairs. I would love to have a big old farm table, with mismatched chairs and a vintage sideboard with antique drawer pulls. Something like this {I know it's a headboard, but you get the idea}

via

or this

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But for now, I'm really thankful for the beautiful matching set that we have.

{Do you think Mike would ever let me paint these chairs? Maybe the table?......}

I searched long and hard for the perfect true grey. The internet is a great source for both inspiration + direction when looking for paint colors. Some links that were especially helpful for me are here, here, here, and here. Obviously there are thousands of blogs out there with millions of great ideas for paint colors! Anyway, Revere Pewter is a little more complex than I expected; a little more ambiguous, a little less grey. It's almost taupe/dark beige in some lights. I guess that's a bonus; I get walls that are multiple colors instead of just one! When you compare RP to the hallway {Benjamin Moore's Hot Spring Stones}, RP is clearly more grey and HSS is clearly more pink/tan. Which is what I wanted. So I'm not complaining. Just explaining.

This is the beginning of our gallery wall. Originally, I wanted antique-looking silvery frames {like we have in the hallway}, but Mike prefers dark wood frames. I'm really glad I agreed to his preference--I like the way they pop against the grey. Silver would've blended in too much.

And there you have it!

{ My Father's World }

2011-06-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

My house is a glorious riot of flowers, remnants of the baby shower I hosted over the weekend. Daisy and rose, giddy with color, vases scattered on mantle, table, windowsill; sun-drenched perfection of Creator's wild imagination.

They are like living things, these colors; lush, vivid, vibrating with joy and and intensity and life: Flowers doing exactly what they were created to do. Hues lush and vibrant: deep orange, perfect pink, yellows and blush and white-fading-to-red. A chorus of pigments, petals and stamens and stalks: praising simply by being.

I snap photos giddy, feel laughter bubble up in my chest as my shutter clicks-clicks-clicks. Like one starving for beauty, I am ravenous, afraid I'll miss some angle of this joy, some perspective of this flower-praise and I don't want to. But I know I will. Simple flowers, Gerbera daisies and spray roses, they are too much for me. I can't capture them fully, can't bottle this unbridled beauty and joy radiating.

But I can soak it in now. I can immerse myself in this moment, this beauty; I can record snippets, each frame a note in the song these blossoms are singing. I search for best light, best backdrop on this gray morning. If I wait for sunshine before I transcribe this refrain, these beauties may fade.

This is my love song to Jesus! The thought bubbles up from nowhere--nowhere? No, not nowhere; this is Truth: This is my love song to Jesus. This is me dancing, delighting, reveling in the gifts He gives me today. This is me accepting with open hands the gifts He offers, offering Him my delight as thank-you. This is joy. This is my love song to Jesus!

This is my Father's world,

and to my listening ears

all nature sings, and round me rings

the music of the spheres.

This is my Father's world:

I rest me in the thought

of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;

His hand the wonders wrought.

This is my Father's world,

the birds their carols raise,

the morning light, the lily white,

declare their Maker's praise.

This is my Father's world:

He shines in all that's fair;

in the rustling grass I hear Him pass;

He speaks to me everywhere.

This is my Father's world.

O let me ne'er forget

that though the wrong seems oft so strong,

God is the ruler yet.

This is my Father's world:

why should my heart be sad?

The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!

God reigns; let the earth be glad!

~ Maltbie D. Babcock

*I owe much of my understanding of joy and thanksgiving as an appropriate response to whatever gifts Jesus gives to One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. Highly recommended!